Unwell
by ElisaCollette
Summary: Holly J hasn't been feeling well and Declan returns to make sure she takes care of herself - whether she likes it or not.
1. Ready or Not

Of course, the last thing I should be doing is beginning another story, especially since I'm stuck on some of my others. But this idea came to me when watching the first episodes of the season – Holly J looked exceedingly pale. Please let me know if you are interested in seeing this story continue. Chapter two is ready and I will post it as soon as I have ten reviews.

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Chapter 1 - Ready or Not

Holly J had been more than strange lately. She'd been falling asleep in classes, showing up late for everything, and generally looking haggard and broken. Fiona, in all her clinginess, noticed and worried. She had spent precious together time bothering her friend to see a doctor, to relax, to rest – anything. Holly J continued spiraling through her busy life – contending with a full academic load, a heavier-than-usual presence as the vice-president of student counsel, and working at the grill.

It was a few weeks after Holly J and Declan had taken a break that Fiona truly began to worry – especially since others had started to notice. Sav had taken the time to mention how tired Holly J appeared to be – that she'd almost fallen asleep during their last meeting. Anya took time away from avoiding her old friend to approach her and ask if she needed help with anything. Peter told Fiona that he'd found Holly J crying at Above the Dot twice, but the redhead vehemently denied it, stating that her allergies were bothering her because the place was so dirty. As a last ditch effort, Fiona begged Holly J to go with her to her doctor, or at least see the school nurse. Holly J walked away, telling her to mind her own business.

Eventually Fiona had enough waiting. One well-placed call and she felt she had done the best she could. She and Holly J were sitting on a bench in front of the school on a Thursday morning, attempting to study French verbs, when a familiar car pulled up. "What is he doing here?" Holly J asked, eyeing her friend suspiciously. "Fi?"

"I'm not his keeper," Fiona answered. "I had no idea he was coming." Declan was out of the car and at Holly J's side before they could converse any longer.

"Hey, sis," Declan said, offering Fiona a quick peck on the cheek. "Think you can actually attend your classes today?" He asked, teasingly. "I need you to get Holly J's assignments."

"I'm not going anywhere with you," Holly J said, agitated at his immediate orders. Declan looked at her, his expression firm but caring.

"Please," he said, his eyes imploring her. She sighed and looked away, acknowledging that he'd won. She might have argued longer, if her head wasn't pounding and she wasn't exhausted. Fiona gave Holly J a peck on the cheek and disappeared, leaving the two ex-lovebirds to their own awkward devices.

Declan offered Holly J his hand and she took it, allowing herself to be led to the car and folded into the backseat. She dropped exhaustedly against the soft leather, not caring when Declan took her books and set them aside. He handed her a bottle of water and said something unintelligible to the driver and they were off.

"Where are we going?" She asked, her eyes closed against the brightness of the day. The water bottle was clutched so tightly between her fingers that her knuckles were white, slightly paler than her complexion.

Declan approached the situation carefully, gently extracting one of her hands from the bottle and taking it between his own in a steady grip. "Fi told me you haven't been feeling well. She's worried – I'm worried. Sav and Anya are worried. I'm taking you to the doctor's and I'm not taking no for an answer."

Holly J's eyes had flipped open at the sound of the word doctor and she lunged away from him, her hand reaching for the door. Declan caught her quickly, pulling her back into his arms. Despite her determination to struggle, he was stronger. "Calm down and look at me," he said, easily holding both of her hands while pulling her tightly against him, minimizing her struggles. She eventually sagged against him, realizing it was a fight she couldn't physically win. Glaring, she met his eyes and saw they were gentle, concerned – more caring than she wanted to process. It was more than she could take, so she turned away, averting her eyes.

"Holly J, I don't care if we're not technically together right now. I love you – and I always will. Even if you go off and find someone else, I still want you to be happy and healthy. I know that this is not normal for you – you're never sick. And between Anya, Sav, and Fiona – I've gotten a pretty dismal picture of what's been going on. If you won't do this for yourself, do it for the people who care about you."

"Fine," she said, seething angrily. "But I'm fine."

"And when I hear that from someone with a medical degree, I'll let you gloat," he answered. "And I'll be relieved to hear it. For now, do you have a doctor you prefer?"

"Not really," she admitted. "I haven't been to one since I was a kid. I don't get sick."

"Well, then, we have an appointment at 9am with Dr. Gretchen Remarque. She is supposed to be the best general practitioner and diagnostician in Ontario."

"Declan, It's too expensive - I can't let you—"

"Are we having this argument again? I'm not backing down this time, Holly J. I don't care how much it costs – I want to know that you're alright. Think of it as money I'm spending on me – because I can't bear to think about the alternative." She sighed and Declan moved on, trying to brighten the situation. "We have some time – did you have breakfast?"

"I don't want any," Holly J answered simply. She eyed his expression darkly and continued. "And if you make me eat breakfast, I'm going to puke in your fancy car."

"It's my dad's car," Declan retorted. "And I thought you said you were fine. Do 'fine' people puke after breakfast?" Holly J rolled her eyes.

"Can we stop arguing? I'm going with you – move on. Tell me about school." He sat back, repositioning himself to support her heavy lean and began to spin tails about his elite private school. Commenting sarcastically about the homework assignments and intense projects, he also gave satirical glimpses into his well-to-do classmates and their idiosyncrasies. At first, Holly J laughed and commented on his anecdotes, obviously enjoying his story styling. After twenty minutes or so, she became quiet and Declan realized she was sleeping.


	2. Testing 1,2,3

Thanks so much for the reviews! This chapter is much longer, so can I be selfish and ask for another 10 (or more, of course) reviews? I love to know what you think and if you are enjoying the story. What do you like? Is there anything you would like to see? Did the reunion come too quickly? Review and let me know. Thanks for reading!

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Chapter 2 – Testing 1, 2, 3

He allowed her to slumber on his shoulder until ten minutes prior to the appointment, at which time he gently shook her awake. Her eyes blinked, attempting to focus on her whereabouts. She was thoroughly confused for a few moments, something he had never seen before. Eventually she woke fully and sat up, straightening her hair and reaching for her purse.

She held on tightly to Declan's arm as they entered the medical building and took the elevator to the office of their destination. It was unlike any office Holly J had ever seen – save possibly on television. The decorations were beautiful, elegant, and clearly expensive. The waiting room was small, mostly because the patients who visited were not expected to wait. Smiling a bit too much for the redhead's taste, the smiling receptionist greeted them by name and led them directly into an office. "Do you want me to stay?" Declan asked. "I can wait outside." Holly J shook her head- she was not facing this alone. Despite the fact that they were separated, she still felt comfortable with him – she trusted him. Holly J allowed Declan to lead her to a sofa and he sat with her. Within moments, another smiling blond woman joined them, this one introducing herself as the doctor.

"Good morning, Miss Sinclair, Mr. Coyne," she said, reaching to shake their hands. Holly J and Declan both asked that she use their first names, and she sat across from them in an arm chair, ready to chat. She opened a file and Holly J could see her name on the newly minted folder. "Declan called yesterday with some information, but why don't you tell me about your symptoms?"

"I'm fine, really," Holly J claimed, her cheeks flushing. "I think everyone is overreacting. I've just been really stressed lately."

"Okay," Dr. Remarque said with a nod. She leaned forward a bit and looked Holly J straight in the eye. "If everyone is worried, let's put them at ease. In this room, nothing you say is viewed as a weakness. Tell me everything that feels different lately, even if it doesn't seem important. Little details together help us get to the big picture. No more qualifying things as "fine" or "okay."" She was firm but kind and made perfect sense. After a look of warning from Declan, Holly J pursed her lips and nodded; she was not going to argue with him in front of a stranger – especially when the responsible part of her brain knew she was being silly. "Start over. How do you feel differently today than you did, say – three months ago?"

Holly J began listing the litany of symptoms her friends had been noticing and reporting back to Declan. Yes, she was exhausted – pretty much all the time. She was having an extremely difficult time falling asleep and when she did, she never woke up feeling rested. Her head ached most of the time, along with muscle aches that plagued her after being on the go for more than an hour. She was nauseous but she attributed that to the headaches, which also made her sensitive to light and sound. She had trouble concentrating and was easily confused – she had fallen behind in all of her classes. As she admitted these things out loud for the first time, the words tumbled without end. Declan did not comment, knowing that she was trying very hard to keep it together and one glance or interruption from him might send her to the edge.

She was moody and sad a lot, which she blamed on the exhaustion and general aches. Her period had been missing for several months and her appetite was non-existent. Declan sucked in a hard breath when she admitted that she'd passed out – three times. Each time she had been alone but there had been several other close calls when she'd felt the sensation and quickly sat or laid down to avoid a spell. After she finished, her eyes were red from holding back tears. She was angry at Declan for making her face something she was completely terrified of and she was frustrated with herself for not being able to fight the symptoms before they'd taken over.

Dr. Remarque made notes and asked small questions to gain information about the severity and length of the symptoms. She asked about things that were happening at home, the condition of the new apartment she was living in, and if she'd changed any of her habits before the symptoms had appeared. They spoke for almost an hour, Holly J blushing profusely when she began asking questions about her cycle and experience. Declan smiled as he watched the blush creep to her hairline, earning himself an elbow in the gut.

"The symptoms are such a wide variety but they don't point toward a particular ailment. What I'm going to suggest," she said, finally, "is a full exam and battery of tests that will begin to rule out the obvious." She called her nurse into the room and introduced her as Lynne, asking Holly J to follow her to an exam room. Declan looked at her as she stood and she pulled at his hand, clearly indicating that he was going too. Lynne took her weight, height, pulse, temperature, and blood pressure. She led them into an exam room and handed Holly J a cotton gown, asking her to change and told her that she would be right back. Holly J shuttered as the door closed and she felt Declan's hand fall to her shoulders, rubbing gently.

"I'm scared," she said, her voice quiet and her expression unreadable since she was still facing away from him. He pulled her back into his embrace, dropping a kiss on the top of her head.

"I am too," he admitted. "But it's going to be okay. Whatever it is – we'll fix it. And when you have a clean bill of health, we are going to look back at this as unnecessary worry." Holly J nodded, stepping out of his arms and moving over to the wall where hangers were available. She slipped out of her sweater easily but was shaking, making the zipper on her dress difficult to negotiate. Declan stepped in and helped, averting his gentlemanly eyes as the dress came off and she quickly slipped into the cotton gown.

She was sitting on the exam table when the nurse returned, her bare feet swinging nervously. The nurse handed her a cup and pointed her to the bathroom, causing her face to redden again. When she returned, the doctor was in the room, talking quietly with Declan. "Relax," Dr. Remarque said, as soon as she looked at Holly J and saw that the girl was shaking. "Whatever this is, we're going to find it and fix it," she said. "All you can do right now is to try to calm down and let me do my job." Holly J attempted a smile but it was a grimace of sorts. "Hop up there and we'll get started."

Declan and Holly J both saw immediately why Dr. Remarque was so good at her job – she was extremely thorough. She checked everything – inspecting, palpating, and percussing in places no one had ever touched before, let along examined. She was gentle and thoughtful – leaving Holly J draped for modesty and quietly explaining everything she was doing. She tested the young girl's reflexes, her muscle strength, and her balance. Holly J was embarrassed when she was unable to touch her toes without getting dizzy. "I used to dance," she said. "I've never had trouble."

"We'll figure it out," Dr. Remarque repeated. "Hop back up there and lay back. I'm going to put a bit of pressure. If anything hurts or feels uncomfortable, you tell me." Holly J lay back against the table, trying to breathe normally as the doctor pressed along her pelvis, abdomen, and chest. Although she was covered, she felt terribly exposed. She closed her eyes and attempted to imagine being elsewhere. Her brain had reached Hawaii, with Declan in tow, when Dr. Remarque moved on to a breast exam. After finishing, she moved to write in Holly J's chart – as she had been doing all along. "Have you had a pelvic exam before?" Holly J's eyes opened wide and she sat up quickly.

"Is that really necessary?" She couldn't comprehend much more poking and prodding, especially since she had never had that type of exam before.

"I think it's wise, since you haven't had your period in a few months. And it will help to rule out any problems that may exist. We can have Declan move out to the waiting room," the doctor said, looking at the young man. He stood up immediately, looking at Holly J for direction.

"Stay," she said, hoarsely. "Up here," she said, gesturing beside her. He moved his chair to her side and held her hand as Dr. Remarque prepared for the exam. She had Holly J move to the bottom of the table and pulled out the stirrups, causing tears to spring to the girl's eyes. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to," she said, changing her mind. "This is embarrassing."

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about," Declan answered, moving in close to wipe away her tears. "If you want me, I'm here. I'm too busy looking at your beautiful face to worry a bit about what's going on down there." Holly J smiled and laughed a bit – he was too smooth and if the circumstances were different, she would call his bluff and tease him for being mushy.

"I want my diamond back," she said, with enough sincerity that his heart swelled.

"I'll get you the matching earrings," he promised. "I am in awe of your strength. I didn't know there was so much they could do to a person."

"Neither did I," Holly J said with a scared laugh. "I just want to it to be over."

"Close your eyes. Think about next summer. We'll sail the Mediterranean. Follow the Romantic Road through Europe. They have the most amazing little towns – some date back to the middle ages and still have walls and castles." He continued to tell her stories of the places they would visit together, distracting her from Dr. Remarque's examination. He squeezed her hand reassuringly the few times she grimaced and sustained his monologue to busy her mind.

"All done," Dr. Remarque said eventually. "Everything visually looks fine. I took a few samples for testing and we'll add those to the list. I think we've covered everything we could possibly check on at this stage," she said, smiling at Holly J. "You have been an extremely good patient, my dear. I will rush these results. The last thing I want to do is a blood draw. I'll send the nurse back in."

The nurse joined them a few moments later and had Holly J lay back again and set to work. Holly J gripped Declan's hand with the one that wasn't being leached and turned her head to face him, refusing to watch the process. After the third vial, she began to feel her stomach churning. "I'm going to be sick," she squeaked, scrambling to sit up.

"Hold on," the nurse said, finishing the vial she was on and quickly cleaning and covering the prick. She pulled a container from a nearby cabinet just in time. Holly J groaned as she realized what a sight she was. She emptied the contents of her stomach and continued to dry heavy for a bit longer. The nurse handed her tissues and then a small cup of water, giving her the opportunity to rinse the foul taste from her mouth. Holly J tried to clean up as best she could, despite the spinning action her head was currently experiencing.

After the nurse left, Dr. Remarque returned, a grim look on her face. "Sorry about that, kid-o," she said. She sat on a stool across from them, still looking apologetic. "I wish we could call it a day, but I need four more vials to run the tests."

Holly J raised her eyebrows, staring at the doctor wearily. "Are you serious?"

"Unfortunately. We're going to give you a few minutes to adjust – lay back, relax – and we'll try again."

An hour later, Holly J had been poked twice more and given up four more vials of blood, which caused an almost-fainting spell. She was forced to drink juice and stay lying down. Eventually, after her head stopped spinning and there was no imminent danger of vomit, the doctor rejoined them.

She sat on a stool across from Holly J, who sat up again on the table. "We're good to go with the lab tests – they've been rushed. In the meantime, I want you in bed. No school, no work, no activities. Bed rest. No matter what this turns out to be, your body is telling you that it's tired. So listen. You may leave bed to use the bathroom and bathe. You are to stay in bed until I say otherwise – understood?" Holly J nodded, wondering how she was going to explain that to her mother. "For the muscle pain and headaches, I'm going to give you a high dose ibuprofen. It's safe, but you need to take it on a full stomach so it doesn't make you sick. You can also try cold compresses for the headaches – that sometimes helps. And you need to eat, so I'm going to give you a low dose anti-nausea drug to help keep things down. I'll give you a list of different foods you can try that are easy on the stomach. Alright?" Holly J nodded.

"Any questions?" She shook her head. "No worries," the doctor said firmly. "If you have any questions before I get in touch, feel free to call. I will give you my direct line and pager. Take care, Holly J. I will see you soon." They both thanked her and she left, closing the door so Holly J could change back into her sapphire blue sweater and sapphire and white dress. She was exhausted and dizzy and still slightly nauseous – she was horrified but Declan had to help her more in the process of dressing than he had in undressing. He kissed her neck as he hooked her bra and fixed the straps, steadying her against him.

"Stop thinking," he said quietly. "Relax. Stop being embarrassed and prideful and let me help you." Once dressed, she straightened her hair and accepted Declan's arm, knowing her legs were too wobbly to carry her alone.


	3. The Waiting Game

Thank you for all of the reviews - it is so nice to know that you are enjoying the story! Was the last chapter realistic enough? This one is mostly filler - but hopefully with enough fluff to be worth your reading. Let me know what you think. Thanks again for taking the time to read and review! Enjoy :-)

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Chapter 3 The Waiting Game

Inside the car, Declan pulled Holly J to rest against him and dropped a kiss on her forehead. "Do you want me to take you home?" She thought about it and sighed – this was a huge mess. Her mind was littered with the things she had been planning to accomplish that day from French quizzes to student counsel announcements. Eventually, she shook her head.

"I don't want to explain this to my mom – not until we know something. Besides, I have to work tonight and she'll be livid if I don't go."

"I'll take you to Fiona's," he said, pressing the intercom and giving the driver directions to go there after stopping at the pharmacy. By the time they reached Fiona's condo, Holly J was asleep. Declan picked her up and carried her into the building, placing her gently into Fiona's guest bed before she stirred.

"Sorry," she whispered, watching as he dropped the blinds and drew the curtains.

"Don't apologize." He left the room, returning quickly with a pair of soft cotton pajamas in shades of black and white. "They're new," he said. "Fiona won't care." He smirked. "Actually, Fiona won't notice."

"I know," Holly J answered. "I've seen her closet." She reached for the set and, with a bit more help from Declan, changed again and snuggled under the thick comforter.

Declan kissed her gently on the lips, then the forehead. "I have a few things to do. I trust that you will not leave this bed. Do not answer your phone – do not turn on the television. Sleep. I won't be long." She sighed softly, asleep before he exited the room.

When she awoke, she heard voices and opened her eyes to see Fiona, Declan, and surprisingly – Anya. "Hi," she said, moving to sit up. Declan was quickly at her side, rearranging pillows so she was more comfortable.

"Hey, Holly J," Anya said. "I just wanted to stop by – we've been so worried. I'm glad Declan finally convinced you to get checked out." She sat on the edge of the bed and her voice lowered. Fiona and Declan took it as a clue to get lost – so they did. "I have not been a good friend," she said softly. "And I want to apologize for that."

"I was a bad friend first," Holly J answered. Anya thought about it and then raised her eyebrows before nodding in agreement.

"We were both pretty bad to each other. But I want that to change. And if you need anything – please let me know."

"Thank you," Holly J said, smiling as Anya leaned in to hug her. "Keep an eye on our president. I'm not sure he can run student counsel without me."

"It's only temporary," Anya stressed. "But I'll help him." When she left, Declan returned, his arms full of things. He dropped them on the bed and crawled next to Holly J, showing her his spoils.

"I know you're not going to be a good patient for much longer, so I've stocked up on the necessities of distraction. More chick flicks than anyone should watch in a lifetime – Mama Mia, When In Rome, Dear John, Beezus and Ramona. I have several choices of ice cream in the freezer, including the all-important chocolate chip cookie dough. I have picked up your preferred brand of flavored water and plenty of juice – all of which you need to be drinking. I stopped by your place and Fiona packed a bag with clothes and other essentials, as well as picking several books from your to-be-read shelf."

"You're amazing," Holly J answered.

"Anything for my girl."

"My mother is never going to let me stay here."

"Just tell her Fi is lonely – no one needs to know I'm here." Declan called her boss and explained the situation, offering a doctor's note, which Holly J's boss said wasn't necessary. He was a nice man and valued Holly J as a good employee. He too had noticed her creeping illness over the past few weeks. Declan spent the rest of the evening at her bedside, working on his laptop. Despite her complete exhaustion, Holly J woke up enough to call her mother at 9 – right after her would-be-shift – and was able to convince her that she was staying with Fiona for the night.

The next day, Holly J woke feeling refreshed and happy – especially when she realized she was wrapped in Declan's arms. She slowly crawled from his grasp, despite her immense comfort, to meet the needs of her obnoxious bladder. Brushing her teeth and hair, she left the bathroom and began walking to the kitchen when Declan appeared in the doorway, looking formidable.

"Where are you going?"

"To the kitchen," she said.

"Bed," he answered, pointing.

"I feel good right now."

"Let's keep it that way," he responded. "Get in bed." Knowing there was no use in arguing with him and that she certainly couldn't get past him on her own, she sighed and returned to bed. "Pancakes, eggs? French toast?" He asked, smiling at his offerings.

"Toast," Holly J said sadly. "Dry, please." He nodded, returning a few moments later with a tray laden with dry wheat toast, orange juice, and fresh pineapple. Fiona went to school, taking Holly J's note from the doctor and promising to return with her missed work. Declan spent the day making sure his girlfriend stayed in bed and did little more than sleep. It wasn't terribly difficult since her exhaustion was palpable.

That evening, Holly J was able to put her mother off longer, promising that she had taken an extra shift at work and she would stay with Fiona again since it was the weekend and the other girl terribly lonely. She knew her mother wasn't going to buy it much longer, but Declan wouldn't allow her out of bed, so it was a tough situation.

Declan had been very busy distracting Holly J; she almost had no time to worry over the test results. On Saturday, he had given her a reprieve from bed rest; mostly because her mother demanded to see her. She went home with Fiona, spent the evening with her parents, and somehow convinced them to let her go back again. It was Sunday evening when Declan's phone rang. Holly J's stomach fell when she recognized the caller id. They were sitting in bed, watching Mama Mia for the third time in four days. Declan answered and handed the phone to Holly J, whose greeting was slightly strained.

"Holly J, I want need you to come back in tomorrow. There are just a few more tests I want to run and then we'll chat." It was Dr. Remarque, kind but short. It was a scary sign.

"Is it bad?"

"It's fixable," the doctor said, false cheerfulness at the ready. "We'll talk tomorrow. First thing? I'll mark you down for 9 o'clock." Holly J nodded at first but then answered in the affirmative when she realized she was on the phone. She hung up and handed the phone back to Declan, telling him about the early appointment.

"Something is really wrong," Holly J said hollowly.

"It might not be anything worse than mono or the flu," Declan answered.

Holly J shook her head, responding quietly. "Her voice – it was different."

"Whatever it is, we'll get through it," Declan answered, "together. We still have a fairytale to live out." She snuggled into his arms and tried to forget the pinched sound of the doctor's voice but it shadowed her mind all night, keeping her from sleep.


	4. Explanations of the Worst Variety

I normally do lots of research when I write and use true, accurate details. In this case, I couldn't find what I wanted in a real disease – so I made one up based on a compilation of others. It's not something I would normally do – but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Thanks for all of your reviews - please continue and let me know what you think. Enjoy this next chapter :-)

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Chapter 4 – Explanations of the Worst Variety

She and Declan didn't exactly sleep that night – they both pretended, but they mostly spent the time lost in their own thoughts. The next day, they dragged themselves from bed and dressed in their usual manner of business casual – far beyond their 17 years in style and elegance. Holly J fingered her diamond as Declan secured it around her throat.

She was frozen solid with terror in front of the building, not certain her legs would work to carry her inside. Declan took her hand and pulled her forward.

"It's an extremely rare form of cancer of the blood," Dr. Remarque said gently, sitting forward in her chair. "We don't know what causes it, but it strikes young adults – unexpectedly. It always starts out with flu like symptoms, so most people ignore it for a long time before seeking treatment. The good news is that you've caught it fairly early. I've contacted Dr. Lee Wu, a colleague who has the highest success rate in the country with rare cancers. He's looked at your file and wants to meet with you as soon as possible to discuss options."

"I can't afford that," Holly J said hollowly. It was the first time she'd spoken all morning.

"Listen to me," Declan said angrily, turning to Holly J. "I don't care what the cost is. We are not worrying about that. We will see whatever doctor is the best and find whatever treatments work. I don't want to hear another word about money." She was a bit surprised at his outburst but too stunned by him and terrified of the situation to argue.

"You need to speak with your parents," Dr. Remarque said. "You'll learn that when you share your worries with those you love, they become much easier to handle. I am referring you to Dr. Wu, but I want you to contact me anytime you feel necessary – I am still your primary doctor and I want to support you in any way I can. I've gotten together some information about the disease that you can share with your family," she said, handing a folder to Declan. Holly J was staring into space, no longer listening. Declan thanked Dr. Remarque and led Holly J out of the office.

Since Declan had driven his rental, he let Holly J into the passenger side and climbed behind the wheel. When they arrived at her apartment, they still hadn't spoken. Declan took her straight to her bedroom and tucked her under the covers. They spent the rest of the afternoon in silence, Declan only speaking when necessary and Holly J remaining stony and nonresponsive. He had called his mother the night before and Laura Coyne, hearing the fear in her son's voice, had immediately booked a flight to Toronto. When they received the news, Declan had texted, asking her to come to Holly J's apartment to be with them when they told her parents.

If Holly J was surprised when Laura arrived, she didn't show it. No emotion was evident as the older woman hugged her and tried to offer words of encouragement. "We are going to make this okay," she promised. "You are not alone in this, Holly J. We think of you as part of the family – we are going to help any way we can." Holly J didn't respond but Laura understood her distress; she hugged the girl again and then let her lie back in bed.

Following Declan from the room, Laura busied herself with the bags she had brought, starting a full meal of lasagna. Declan watched as his mother worked, unable to talk but still appreciating her presence. "It's going to be okay," Laura told him, after watching him brood for a long period. "It really is. You need to be strong for her."

"I'm trying," Declan answered.

"I know," Laura said, crossing the room to hug her son. That was the scene when Mrs. Sinclair arrived home from work.

"Hello," she said, a confused expression on her face as she set down her purse and keys. "Declan, Mrs. Coyne. What's going on?"

"Please, call me Laura," Laura reminded her. "Declan and Holly J invited me for dinner – I hope that's okay."

"Of course," Mrs. Sinclair said, suspiciously. "Clark should be home any minute. He'll be so excited. He loves lasagna." She looked apprehensively at the boy she blamed for giving her daughter lofty ideas. "Declan, when did you get to town? Holly J didn't mention it. I thought you two were taking a break."

"It was a last minute thing," Declan answered, "and we made up."

Laura handed her son a stack of plates. "Declan, please go set the table." Once he was gone, Nancy Sinclair looked directly at Laura Coyne, a look a mother knows well – it clearly said, 'cut the crap.'

"What's going on?"

"Nancy, it's not my place. Declan asked me to be here. Holly J has some things she wants to talk to us about – and they wanted us to all be together. That's really all I know."

Nancy Sinclair wanted nothing more than to march down the hall and force her daughter to tell her what was going on, immediately. But she knew something was different about this situation. The fact that Declan and his mother were in her home – it was not good. As she went into her bedroom to change out of her work clothes, Nancy thought about the possibilities – and settled on the fact that her daughter was probably pregnant. After all of the time Holly J spent planning and dreaming for the future, she was going to have it ruined by lack of self control.

By the time her husband arrived, Nancy was angry. She headed into Holly J's room and was surprised to find her in bed, sleeping. "Holly J, what is going on? Why are you sleeping in the middle of the day?" Declan stood from his perch at Holly J's desk and motioned for her to be quiet.

"She's not feeling well," he said, sitting on the edge of the bed. Nancy watched as Declan – almost a stranger to her – carefully touched her daughter and woke her without a sound. Holly J sat up quickly, eyes on her mother.

"Mom—"

"You have some explaining to do," Nancy said sternly.

"I know," Holly J answered, turning away from her mother and looking at Declan. "I invited Sav and Anya over – I just want to tell everyone at the same time, I don't want to have to repeat." Declan nodded, squeezing her hand.

"Will someone tell me what is going on!" Nancy yelled, throwing her hands in the air.

"Dinner!" Laura called from the kitchen, saving them. Fiona, Sav, and Anya had all arrived and set extra places. Declan helped Holly J to the table; she was unable to hide from anyone the fact that she was having trouble – the ibuprofen had worn off and it wasn't nearly time for another dose. Declan pushed in her chair and sat next to her at the table.

Dinner was quick and quiet – no one sure what to say so they put all of their energy into eating. Laura attempted to engage Clark and Nancy in conversation, then moved on to asking Anya, Sav, and Fiona about school. Eventually, Holly J put down her fork and pushed away the meal she'd barely touched.

"I have cancer," she said, suddenly. Every head in the room turned to look at her. "That was actually really easy to say," she said to Declan, her voice in awe. "I wasn't sure how to do it – but it just came out. I have cancer."


	5. Practical Proposals

Thank you so much for the reviews – especially those of you who have loyally read and reviewed each chapter. I'm glad you're enjoying reading it – I'm also enjoying the writing of it. Please let me know what you think. I've noticed reviews have gone down since the first chapter – what do you like about it? What are you looking forward to seeing? Thanks again for your readership. Enjoy this next installment!

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Chapter 5

The next day Declan, Laura, and Nancy all accompanied Holly to see the specialist. He was nice enough but much brisker than Dr. Remarque – his time was obviously limited. While he described the treatments that would be necessary to combat the cancerous cells, he was peppered with questions. Holly J never had to ask any because Declan and Laura posed the questions about her physical well being while Nancy asked about the cost. By the end of the session, Holly J was crying again and Nancy and Laura had gotten into a spat in front of the doctor. He told them to make their decision as soon as possible because it was imperative to begin before the cancer spread to any major organs.

No decision was made that day, much to the chagrin of both Declan and Laura Coyne. Nancy drove home with Laura in the passenger seat and their children in the back. "I know you're uncomfortable accepting money from us," Laura said to Nancy, "but is your pride really more important than your daughter's life?"

"Mom!" Declan warned.

"There is no reason a doctor at the community hospital can't treat her. The most expensive isn't aways the best."

"In this case, it is," Laura countered. "I've been researching this type of cancer - only ten people on the continent were diagnosed last year. Of six who are still surviving, five were or are being treated by this doctor."

"I hardly believe that. This really is none of your business anyway," Nancy said.

"Mom!" Holly J yelled. The two mothers continued to squabble about money and treatments on the drive home. Holly J went directly to her room and slammed the door, leaving the mothers and Declan to their own devices. Laura eventually had enough arguing with Nancy that she excused herself to go back to her hotel. Nancy went to work to put in a half-day, leaving Declan sitting in the tiny living room with nothing to do but the homework he was missing in New York.

It was nearly dinner time when the front door opened and he looked up, expecting to see Nancy or Clark Sinclair. Instead, it was Anya. "Hey," he said, "what are you doing here?"

"I was summoned to pick up the princess," she said, somewhat mused and partially annoyed. "If Holly J thinks I'm going to let her boss me around again just because she has cancer - she has another thing coming."

"But you are here," Declan pointed out.

"Yeah," Anya answered. "She sounded like she needed some time away."

"I do," Holly J answered, appearing in the doorway. She was wearing jeans, a pink t-shirt, and a long green wrap sweater. Her purse was slung over her shoulder and her pale cheeks were livened a bit by make up. "Let's go."

"Wait!" Declan said, standing to impede the process. "You're supposed to be in bed."

"Rest isn't going to cure cancer," Holly J answered. "And I'm not going to lay here and wait until they start pumping me full of poison. I need a break from our mothers. And as much as I love you and all you've done to be supportive - I need a break from you too. We're just going out for dinner - we're meeting Fiona. I'll call you if we're going to be later than seven." She pushed up on her tip toes and kissed him. He watched as she left with Anya, worried about her outing but relieved that she was acting like herself.

The next few days were extremely tense. So much so that Holly J attempted to go back to school in order to avoid home, ending in a trip to the nurse's office when she fell asleep during History. Declan considered chiding her as he arrived to take her home but decided against it once he saw how exhausted and pale she looked.

A week after the appointment with Dr. Wu, they were still no closer to an answer. Declan wanted to make the appointment and take her against her mother's wishes but Nancy said that if he did, she would make sure they never saw one another. To appease Holly J's mother, they made an appointment and visited an oncologist at the community hospital. He was very kind but took one look at her diagnosis and suggested they would be better off with Dr. Wu. He admitted that he had never heard of her type of cancer before, let alone knowing how to go about treating it. That appointment led to another blowout between Laura and Nancy. Clark Sinclair had taken to spending his evenings out and Holly J had a sneaking suspicion it was to avoid her and the Coynes.

Two days after they visited the community hospital, they went back to Dr. Remarque because Holly J was in more pain and having a difficult time sleeping soundly. After the appointment, Holly J became suspicious when he began driving into an unknown and rural section of town. "Declan, what are you doing?" Holly J asked, her tired eyes finally noticing that he was not headed for home. Her appointment with Dr. Remarque had been difficult – there was little the kind doctor could do to lessen the stress or pain of the situation. She had upped Holly J's pain medication, at least until treatments could begin. Holly J had no idea how long that would be – the money situation was tense. Her mother wanted her to check into the community hospital and see what they could do under universal health care. Declan wanted her to see the best that money could buy. She wanted to go home to bed and hide under the covers until it was all over.

Declan smirked and looked over at her. "You'll see."

"Declan!"

"Patience, my love," he said, reaching for her hand. He drove for a long time, lulling her into sleep – something he had planned. She woke slowly when she felt the movement cease. "We're here," he said, smiling.

"Where is here?" All she could see were woods.

"You really are cranky today," he said, chuckling. He exited the car and took her hand, leading her down a path through the trees. They were soon in a small clearing. On the other side was a cottage – if a place could still be called a cottage when it was humongous – sitting on the edge of a small lake. "It's beautiful," she said, turning to face him. "Now, what is it?"

"Let's go and see." He led her down the path and across the clearing. As they approached the beautifully created front lawn and stone walk, Holly J saw the name plate. It was a wooden carving, covered in delicate flowers stained in brilliant hues. In the center, it was inscribed with _The Coyne Family_. Underneath, it read _Declan_ and _Holly J_, with obvious space left for additions. She turned to look at him and had to look down – he was on one knee.

"What are you doing?" She asked, smiling and laughing and terrified – all at the same time.

"Holly Jeanette Sinclair, you would make me the happiest man in the world if you would marry me. Be my wife, my best friend – my reason for being."

"You're insane," she hissed, her eyes catching on the sparkling rock in his hand. "What is that?"

"That would be a diamond," he said. "Pre-DeBeers – I know how you feel about blood diamonds."

"Declan," she said, softly. "I love you – but this is crazy. We're 17!"

"Marry me anyway. We'll be that much younger when we celebrate our golden wedding anniversary."

"Why are you doing this?"

"You are really over thinking this moment," he said, grinning. "You're going to give me a complex. Am I that repulsive?"

"Oh, dear lord. Yes!" She said, throwing up her hands. "Of course, I'll marry you – now why are you doing this?" Declan laughed and stood, slipping the ring on her left hand before lifting her into his arms and kissing her deeply, blocking out the questions she continued to ask.

Later that evening, they sat together, wrapped in blankets in front of a roaring fire, looking out through the wall-length panels of glass that displayed the landscaped yard and part of the lake. It was a gorgeous place; Holly J still couldn't believe Declan had purchased a house – a home. An extremely large home that she hadn't begun to negotiate. Declan had walked her through the master bedroom suite, the kitchen, dining, and breakfast areas. He had also pointed out the library, which she thought might be her favorite place. Walls were lined with mahogany bookshelves between deep bay windows that overlooked a garden. After the library, they had returned to the family room to snuggle in front of the fire – where she was determined to have answers.

"Let's talk," she said, finally, leaning into him. "What is your idea behind this?" She asked.

"I love you," he said. "And I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. I want to spend every moment of the rest of my life as your husband."

"I know that," Holly J responded. "I know you love me. I know that I love you. I know that we are headed for marriage – we have been since day one. It's actually sort of weird, if you think about it; but I knew right away that you were the one. But what I don't know is why you've decided to do it now. A month ago, we were broken up."

"On a break," Declan corrected. "And the reason for now is – practical."

"Practical?"

"I want you to listen before you say anything or start to argue with me."

"I'll try," she promised.

"I have been doing a lot of research," he said slowly. "Crunching numbers, all that kind of stuff. The bills – if we do this without insurance – will be very large." Holly J nodded – she had been worried about the bottom line since the beginning. "Cutting back on specialists and treatments is not an option, so I looked into getting you individual insurance – but with your diagnosis, no one would provide it. I, however, have a very good insurance policy. If we were to marry sooner rather than later, they would have no choice but to add you to my policy. There are no medical questions or tests when adding a spouse. I checked with our lawyer – it would work. I know it's not romantic—"

"It's the kindest, most loving thing anyone has ever done for me," Holly J interrupted, pulling him into a kiss. She pulled away, slowly. "Are you sure?"

"Are you kidding me?" Declan asked, smiling brightly. "Holly J, I plan to marry you whether it is today or 10 years from now – I just think this would give us more wiggle room – allow us to save more of the family money for our future – for our kids."

"You are amazing," Holly J answered. "What did I possibly do to deserve you?"

"I have you," Declan answered. "I am the lucky one." That night, Declan walked Holly J into her home instead of dropping her off and they approached her parents together. Nancy saw the ring immediately, so there was no point in announcing it.

Nancy's mouth tightened into a line. She looked at her husband and back at Declan. "I supposed there's no changing your mind," she said.

"Nope," Holly J said, breathing deeply to calm herself. "Thanks for asking. I'm actually going to go with Declan – I'm staying at Fi's tonight." It wasn't part of the original plan but now that she felt the chill from her parents, she wanted to go somewhere happier – homier. Ever since the announcement of her illness, her parents had been allowing her to go with Declan, no arguments. It was easier but it left her feeling a bit unwanted by her mom and dad – especially since her dad didn't talk to her and her mother seemed constantly angry when she did speak.

She walked to her bedroom, Declan following close behind. She packed a few days worth of clothes and necessities. She handed her bags to Declan and grabbed her laptop, stopping at the last moment to grab the bear from her bed. As they were leaving, they were surprised to see Clark Sinclair sitting on the steps of the building. He stood as they approached.

"You take care of my little girl," he said, his voice choked as he reached to shake Declan's hand.

"Yes, sir," Declan answered. "It's my first priority."

"Oh, daddy," Holly J said, wrapping her arms around him. They stayed that way until Clark stepped away, looking at his daughter with pride in his eyes.

"I wish – there was more – I could do."

"I know," Holly J whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too. Now, get out of here – go be with your fiancé. He's good people." Holly J walked away, desperately attempting not to look back. Her father was lonely – he was unable to provide for his family. She knew he felt like a failure – she wished she'd had nothing to do with encouraging those feelings. Declan's hand on the small of her back propelled her forward and into their future.


	6. Pities and Plans

Thank you for reading and reviewing! I am happy you are enjoying the story – hopefully this next chapter won't disappoint. Enjoy!

Chapter 6 Pities and Plans

Wedding plans began immediately. Declan and Laura were concerned that Holly J's treatments begin as soon as possible, so that meant the wedding would happen quickly. They planned it for a Saturday two and a half weeks in the future, leaving the bride-to-be reeling. After much debate, Holly J suggesting holding the reception at their new home; this met with excitement from the Coyne women. It also met with plans to redecorate and refurnish.

Declan had, without Holly J's knowledge, filled Jane and Spinner in on the situation, so Jane asked her professors for early finals and returned home just as the wedding plans were beginning to take shape, making her Fiona and Laura's main conspirator. Clare Edwards had been hired by Declan to liaise between Holly J and her teachers and help her finish her assignments. Most evenings, the cabin by the lake was filled with wedding planners in the main family and dining rooms and homework in the library. Declan had splurged on a lounge for the library so Holly J could sit up while still resting. She would begin writing her assignments and when she was too drained to continue, she would lay back and dictate to Clare until she was too exhausted to continue even that.

Holly J tried to be excited when Fiona would show her favors or Laura would tell her about the menu, but she simply wanted Declan. Despite having dreamed of her wedding her entire life, she was too tired to care at that point. Small signatures began to slip in though, and Holly J knew it was Anya's doing. Anya had known that Holly J wanted a blue wedding. Anya had known of her desire to be married at sunset.

During the first week of planning, Laura had constructed a small guest list and recruited Fiona, Jane, and Anya to help her call guests and send invitations. Since the wedding was happening so quickly, it was imperative to do both. She explained etiquette to the girls, telling them how much information that should give away and how to avoid noisy questions from relatives and friends. Before long, they were each seated with their own part of the list, calling guests.

Clare arrived just after three with Eli, who was laden down with books and assignments. Adam appeared behind them. Clare poked her head into the living room to see Laura Coyne finishing a call. "Mrs. Coyne, Anya said you guys could use help, so I brought Adam and Eli – is there something they can help you with?"

"What a sweet girl!" Laura exclaimed. "That is the nicest thing. Of course we could use help. Can you boys tie bows?" Adam nodded, shrugging his shoulders. She looked at Eli, who wrinkled his brow while thinking it over.

"As long as you understand it can't be known that I tied the bows," he answered solemnly.

"Of course," Laura said, a smile on her lips. "Come on over," she said, "you can help with the favors." She set them to work in the dining room while Clare grabbed the books Eli had been carrying and headed back to the library. Not finding Holly J, she headed up the stairs to her bedroom. The redhead was fast asleep, so Clare picked up her own homework and sat down at the desk, working while she waited.

"Clare, I'm sorry," Holly J said, waking almost an hour later. "Jane was supposed to wake me. Have you been waiting long?"

"Don't worry about it," Clare said, closing her book. "I was able to get my own homework done. And Mrs. Coyne has Adam and Eli tying bows, so it's a win-win situation." Holly J smiled, sitting up against her pillows and reaching for her hairbrush.

"Everyone is being wonderful. I don't deserve it."

"Everyone deserves to be loved," Clare answered. "And that's what you are. Everyone makes mistakes – we move on, we change. You're a much better person now than you were three years ago. If you were even the person you were last year, I wouldn't be helping you."

"How did you get to be so smart, baby Edwards?" Clare blushed and reached for Holly J's French book. They worked until Jane appeared to announce dinner - take out that would not impinge upon wedding planning time.

"Dinner time. There's Chinese. Lots of Chinese," Jane said. "Clare, there's more than enough - Eli and Adam have already agreed to stay - so I guess you're sort of stuck."

"I'll just call home and let them know," Clare answered, standing and moving toward the hall. Jane entered the room and sat on the bed next to her friend.

"How are you holding up?" Between the wedding planning, the homework, and Declan's need to be hovering often - the two friends had barely spent time together since Jane's arrival.

"I'm okay," she answered. "Everything is moving so quickly. I don't really have enough time to act on my complete and utter terror."

Jane put her arm around Holly J's shoulders and leaned so their heads were resting against each other. "You know," she said in a whisper, "you don't need to be the hero in this. You're allowed to be scared."

"It won't accomplish anything," Holly J answered. Jane laughed.

"What are we going to do with you?" She sighed heavily and her brown eyes searched her friend's green orbs. "If you need to talk, I'm here." Holly J nodded. Jane clapped her hands and stood, offering one of her hands to Holly J. "Come on, there is Chinese to be eaten. And if Spinner took all of my spring rolls, it's going to get ugly." Holly J laughed, taking Jane's hand and walking with her down the stairs to the dining room where the food was laid out. Peter, Spinner, Sav, and Declan had been supervising and helping to prepare the yard for the wedding. Holly J hadn't seen any of it yet but she was pretty sure it was spectacular - she'd already heard something about an arbor and a gross of blue roses. At that point, she knew she didn't want any more details.

Holly J picked up a plate from the sideboard and spooned tiny helpings before sitting between Declan and the empty seat meant for Jane. "How goes the homework?" He asked, spooning another helping of rice onto her plate. She wrinkled her nose and glared at him before taking a tentative bite.

"It's fine," she answered after swallowing. "My 4.0 is gone though - Kwan is taking off point for it being late."

"She can't do that," Declan answered. "We've already talked about this to Mr. Simpson. We'll have to call again. They can't penalize you for being sick."

"I don't want to make a fuss about it."

"Since when?"

"Since I'm tired of being pitied and watched all the time," she said, her voice low but dangerously sharp. "I don't want to talk about this right now." He accepted her conditions and sat back, beginning to navigate his own dinner plate.


	7. Alone in a Crowd

Sorry this is short - it is filler but hopefully fluff you enjoy. Let me know what you think. Thank you so much to all who read and review - it makes me happy :-) The wedding will be coming soon.

P.S. Spinner and Jane are together in this because the movie seemed to unreal with the union of Spinner and Emma.

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Chapter 7 Alone in a Crowd

Holly J was not looking forward to shopping for a wedding dress. She wanted Anya and Jane and Fiona to pick one out for her but they refused - it was something she needed to do. With the help of the women who had recently been constants in her life, shopping for a wedding dress turned out to be some fun. After measuring Anya and Holly J, the seamstress deemed Anya the appropriate size to try on dresses for her friend. Holly J, Laura, Jane, and Clare sat on sofas with classes of water and sparkling juice while Anya tried on gown after gown until they women had settled on three. There was much giggling and silly votes in the meantime. Holly J was then cornered into a dressing room where Jane and Laura helped her into each of the three dresses so she could be scrutinized by the seamstress and ultimately decide on her wedding gown.

The last dress she tried on was the winner - she felt it as soon as she stood and the full taffeta skirt billowed around her ankles. The dress had spaghetti straps with an empire bodice embellished with a floral pattern in metallic embroidery over satin. It was simple and elegant - and looked unforgettable on the bride-to-be. After an eventful morning, the ladies were treated to lunch by Laura Coyne at one of the fanciest restaurants in town.

That night, sitting in the bathtub with the water running, Holly J allowed herself a good, solid cry. She'd never imagined she would shop for a wedding dress without her mother or sister. It was a difficult day, even though she was thankful for the friends who had surrounded her. Laura, Fiona, and Jane had been natural choices and with Anya's recent decision to be closer to Holly J, she was also included. Clare had been a last minute addition when she was wistfully discussing the excursion with Holly J and Jane. Holly J had attempted to invite her mother and Nancy had sighed, saying that she had to work. She ignored her daughter's suggestion that they move it to another time.

Holly J supposed later that she might have overreacted but when Declan heard her crying and barged into the bathroom, she screamed and starting throwing things at him, ordering him to leave. Glass shattered as candle holders hit tile. Eventually he closed the door and stood on the bedroom side of it, sinking to the floor as he listened to the guttural cries coming from his soon-to-be-wife. After a few moments, he walked down the hall to the nearest guest room to find Jane, lying in bed reading.

Jane had begun her visit to town staying with Spinner but after her first few times at the cottage, she realized she wanted to be closer in case Holly J needed her support. Declan had offered up a bedroom immediately, content with having a helping hand nearby. His mother was wonderful and he was thankful - but Holly J was more comfortable with Jane. Spinner also had an open invitation to stay over with Jane - which he usually did - but his shift at the Dot had not ended yet for the evening.

Knocking on the jam of the open door, he waited for Jane to acknowledge him before entering. She set her book aside and swung her legs to the side of the bed, standing to meet Declan. He guessed his expression gave away his desperation. "What's wrong?"

"Holly J is crying in the bathroom and she won't let me in - I tried to go in and she threw candles at me." Jane raised her eyes brows and started toward the master bedroom. She listened at the door for a few minutes, hearing the crying, before knocking.

"Holly J - I'm coming in. And just remember - if you throw anything at me - I'm throwing back." Jane opened the door and edged inside, being careful to step over the sparkling shards that had once been designer candle holders. She moved over to the tub where Holly J was sitting, swathed in bubbles - her knees pulled up to her chest and her head resting on them.

Jane sat next to the tub, leaning against it, her back to her friend. "Declan's just worried about you," Jane said soothingly. "I know you want to be alone right now. But that scares people." Holly J nodded, sniffling as her tears slowed. "It was a really overwhelming day for me - and I'm not the bride. It's okay to be a little upset with everything moving this fast."

"I didn't think she really wouldn't come," Holly J said, her tone surprised. Jane turned around to face her friend - their eyes locked for a moment.

"She doesn't deserve you then," Jane said. "I know that's really hard to imagine. I had to deal with it with my dad - he's gone from my life and it took a long time to accept that. If your mom is going to treat you the way she has been since you came back from Manhattan - then you might be better off letting her go."

Holly J burst into tears again, leaning her head again Jane's shoulder and allowing her friend to hold her - as best she could with the bathtub in the way. "I know I should let her go - but is still hurts. It really hurts that she doesn't want anything to do with me. I didn't do anything wrong."

"I know," Jane said, soothingly. "I know. Just try to remember what you do have. Eventually, it gets better." After an hour the water had grown cold and Holly J's cries had slowed and then stopped. Jane helped her out of the tub, wrapping her in a warm robe and sitting her on a vanity stool. She ordered her friend not to move and went to find Declan, who carried Holly J over the broken glass and sat her on the bed.

"I'm sorry," Holly J said, her eyes downcast in embarrassment as she apologized to Declan.

"It's okay," he said gently. "You're allowed to be upset."

"I could have hurt you," she sniffed.

"Not with that throwing arm, you couldn't have," Declan teased. "All is forgiven. Not kick Jane out of our room-"

"I'm going!" Jane answered. "I was going to clean up the mess - but since you're kicking me out, you're on your own."

"Thanks Jane," Declan said, smiling widely.

"Thank you," Holly J said sincerely, catching her friend's eye.

"Anytime," Jane answered, shaking her head as she left the room.

The week before the wedding was filled with activity from auditioning musical groups to choosing a cake and tying bows to rental chairs. Holly J was busy trying to stay away and out of pain long enough to complete the growing pile of assignments that was accumulating. Clare had left for the night - three days before the wedding - when Laura entered the library to find Holly J still bent over her work.

"Sweetheart," Laura said, sitting next to her, "it's late. You need to get to bed."

"I need to finish this essay," Holly J answered, barely looking up from her laptop. Laura's fingers wrapped around the top of the computer, pushing it down enough to get Holly J's attention.

"I think," Laura began carefully, "that you're being too hard on yourself. Have you talked to Principal Simpson? Maybe you need to lighten your course load for the semester. I'm sure, under these circumstances, it would be fine."

"I'm graduating with my class," Holly J answered.

"Holly J," Laura said sternly. "Your priority right now needs to be your health. You know I admire your work ethic - you are one of the most intelligent, driven young ladies I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. But I don't care if you go to Yale next year or the year after. I care that right now you're running yourself ragged."

"I care," Holly J said weakly.

"I know," Laura answered, taking the girl's hands in her own. "And I can only imagine how difficult this is. But slow down and take care of yourself. You owe it to yourself - and the people who love you." Holly J nodded, closing the computer. Laura moved it to the nearby desk and offered her hand to Holly J, how took it and allowed herself to be led up the stairs to her bedroom.


	8. Happiness and Hope

First, I need to apologize for taking so long to update. I've been swamped. I am in my last semester of my second graduate degree and I'm simply overwhelmed (and seriously have been since September). I have four part-time jobs, family commitments, and no end in school work. But I do like this story and intend to finish it (I have the outline for the rest, and have written a good deal more). My goal, now that I'm back to it - is to update once a week. Please stay tuned - I hope you're still interested in the story!

Enjoy the update :-)

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Chapter 8 A Lifetime of Happiness and Hope

"You'll be fine," Dr. Remarque said, joining Declan and Holly J in her office. Holly J had come two days before the wedding for a quick check-up to make sure she could handle the physical stress of the day. Mentally, she knew she wasn't prepared. Spending the rest of her life with Declan was a breeze; it was the fight that would come directly after the wedding that she feared desperately.

"But you need to listen to your body," the doctor warned. "If you're tired - sit down. Make sure you drink lots of water and take your pain medication when you need it. And please tell me you're not wearing heels." Holly J smiled and shook her head; she had chosen comfortable flats for the occasion. Her dress was floor length so it made the most sense.

Declan wanted to take her to lunch but she was adamant they go home. He was surprised on arrival to find that he was being kidnapped for a "guy's day" before the wedding. Holly J had planted the idea in Spinner's head and before long - an entire day was planned fit for a 17 year old getting married. Fiona, having known about the plans – had a surprise for Holly J in return. They went to a nearby spa and spent the day with Jane, Laura, Clare, and Anya being pampered.

Before she knew it, the rehearsal and dinner had arrived. Jane drove her to the church where Laura and Anya had been all morning - decorating with delicate blue and white roses and ribbons. White tapers lined the aisles and would make a beautiful spectacle the following evening. Holly J walked to the front of the church to join the priest who would be marrying her and Declan. They walked through the ceremony three times before the Reverend was satisfied that everyone was prepared. Spinner walked Holly J down the aisle and relinquished her to Declan, something that made a lump form in her throat. This was truly happening and her parents would not be involved.

She held it together through the rehearsal and elegant dinner, smiling on cue and attempting to keep the exhaustion from her expression. The evening was mostly fun - the only awkwardness coming from her lack of family. Declan's mom and dad both made short speeches and it was strange that no one from the bride's family stood to do the same. Just as Holly J figured they were finished, Spinner asked for the microphone and gave a speech that brought tears to her eyes - and reminded her to be thankful for the people who were attending. The dinner was beautiful, the speeches heart-felt, and the love real.

Leaning heavily against Declan, she made her way to the bedroom late that night and whimpered softly when – after laying her in the bed, he kissed her forehead and pulled away. She grabbed for him but he shook his head. "Call me superstitious – not tonight. I'm staying in one of the guest rooms."

"I want you here," she argued.

"Very soon - that will be a given," he answered. He removed her shoes and placed them in the closet before pulling pajamas out of her drawer and carefully helping her change. Once she was dressed in pink and white cotton and tucked under the covers, he dropped another kiss on her forehead and wished her sweet dreams.

Annoyed as she was with Declan's decision, Holly J was asleep when Jane arrived and crawled quietly under the covers. Spinner had objected loudly but she wanted to be on hand in case Holly J needed something since Declan was sleeping elsewhere.

The bride-to-be might have been passed out due to exhaustion but the remainder of the house buzzed with activity late into the night. Declan and Fiona stayed up late talking and watching old movies - laughing over old memories and whispering hopes for the future.

Laura Coyne wasted little time sleeping - she had plans to go over, favors to check, menus to review. She also spent a few precious hours curled in bed with her husband, looking through Declan's baby book and crying over the good memories and her fears for the future.

In another part of town, a different set of parents sat awake - questioning their choices and lamenting their problems.

The following morning went quickly. Laura had paid the best salon in the area to send their stylists to the house so that the wedding party could prepare in the comfort of the lake side home. Holly J's hair was done last, after she had rested for most of the morning. She wanted it to look natural so they'd settled on curling her auburn mane softly. Most of it remained down, falling to her shoulders that would be bared by the dress. The remainder was pinned delicately around the pearl and diamond hairpiece that would hold her veil; the same Laura Coyne had worn to marry Declan's father.

The girls were gathered in the bride's room at the church, waiting for the ceremony to begin. Holly J was sitting on the sofa in her dress, her feet resting on a nearby chair and her eyes closed. "Do you want another pill?" Laura asked, nervously. "Dr. Remarque said you could take them as needed."

"I want to remember my own wedding," Holly J answered. "I'll be fine. I just need a bottle of water." Anya handed it to her in less than thirty seconds and she thanked her, taking care to sip gingerly – mused lipstick and drips and spills on her gown were to be avoided.

"I'm going to check on Declan and see how much time we have left. Holly J, do you need anything?"

"No," the young girl answered, smiling. "Thank you for everything."

"No worries," Laura answered. She leaned close to kiss Holly J before continuing. "You're family now. No thanks necessary. I love you and I'm so happy you're going to be my daughter." Laura disappeared before any tears could fall and Holly J fought her own, taking deep breaths and not looking at any of her friends who were gathered.

Anya and Fiona left to find the bouquets that Spinner had been in charge of carrying to the church, leaving Jane and Holly J alone. Jane sat next to her friend, smoothing her deep blue skirt beneath her. "How are you really doing?"

"Everything hurts," Holly J admitted.

"Have you taken anything today?" Jane asked, taking one of her hands – which was shaking slightly. Holly J shook her head. Releasing her hand, the best friend quickly located her purse. From it, she pulled a prescription bottle and popped two pills into her hand. They were the high-dose ibuprofen – not the most recent and higher dosage pain pills Dr. Remarque had recently prescribed. "Take these," Jane ordered. "It's better than nothing." Holly J balked for a moment but then took them, swallowing them both with a swig from her water bottle.

Jane rejoined her on the sofa and pushed a few wisps of her hair back into place. "How are you, other than the pain?"

"Marrying Declan is the right choice. I'm really happy," Holly J promised. "I get to spend the rest of my life with the person I love and respect most – it's a good feeling."

"Good." Jane smiled and put her arm around her friend. They sat together for a few more minutes until the other girls returned with the flowers and Laura came to tell them it was time to go.

It was a gorgeous church and Holly J had always wanted to be married there. Her family didn't belong to the church; they had only visited when a friend's baby was being baptized. Holly J had fallen in love with it. It was a beautiful wooden and brick structure with an open, airy feeling. The wall behind the altar was actually a window that looked onto a beautiful landscape. Their vows were going to be exchanged during the brilliant pinks and purples of the sunset.

From the flower covered altar, Sav and Declan turned as the music changed to Pachabel's Cannon in D. Anya walked slowly down the aisle, smiling widely as her blue satin heels moved along the lace carpet. The dresses were very much Holly J with fitted sapphire bodices that lightened to blue a-lined skirts strewn with sapphire blue confetti. It was a beautiful combination. Sav stepped out to meet Anya and lead her to her spot on the altar just as Fiona started down the aisle. Once she arrived, Jane stepped out and into the center of the aisle.

Though they had hassled her plenty about wearing a gown; she looked radiant. Her smile was knowing and peaceful as she walked down the aisle. She turned in her spot to watch as the music shifted and Holly J stepped into the center of the entry. Spinner was on her right, offering his arm. Despite being saddened by her father's absence, Holly J was happy she was able to share this day with people who had truly made her life worthwhile. Spinner had been her confident, her protector, and her friend. He gave Declan a mock glare before grinning and dropping a kiss on Holly J's cheek.

"You ready?" Declan whispered, taking her hand. Holly J nodded slightly, offering him a radiant smile. They walked together to the altar, kneeling before the priest and preparing for the ceremony to commence.

The reception was as beautiful as Holly J imagined it would be. Her friends and new-found family had pulled together a spectacular event that put other weddings to shame. Holly J sat in her place of honor for most of the evening, allowing guest to come to her instead of the traditional alternative.

Dances were shared, toasts offered, and a beautiful cake obliterated. Laura Coyne enjoyed every minute of it; especially seeing the smiles that never left her son's and daughter-in-law's faces. It was a beautiful night; the beginning of a lifetime of happiness and hope.

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Please let me know what you think. I do apologize again for the long wait. Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up next week (that's the plan). Hope you enjoyed!


	9. Long Road Ahead

Thank you Jiberty Fan and iHannah for your reviews. I am so thankful for the feedback. I hope more readers resume reviewing – it's so great to know what you think. Also, let me know if there are any questions you have or any characters you would like to read more of. It all helps in the writing process. I hope you enjoy this next installment.

P.S. - Did anyone else notice that a storyline coming up is about Holly J getting sick? (I began writing this after the first episode of the new season, so I really had no idea - it's a funny coincidence).

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Chapter 9 Long Road Ahead

The fast growing rate of the cancer cells meant there would be no time for a honeymoon, at least not right away. Two days after the wedding, Holly J was scheduled to begin treatments. She was completely terrified – and only slightly for her beautiful hair. The doctor had already discussed with her the fact that it would fall out. There were ways to slow it but they also inhibited the chemo from working as well, so it was a moot point.

Holly J's biggest dilemma with the Chemo treatments was who would accompany her. She refused to allow Declan to come – she was adamant that she did not want him to see her sick all the time, at least no more than he already did. Her own mother was avoiding her like the plague and Fiona was extremely uncomfortable with the entire situation. She thought about asking Laura Coyne but the women had been away from her work for a month already; she needed to get back to New York, at least long enough to check in on her projects. It was Jane who finally approached her, offering to take her.

"You have school," Holly J said.

"You know I don't go back until the New Year," Jane answered. "And I know you don't want Declan to take you, so really – what are your options?" At those words, it was decided. Jane would take her to the appointments – at least until school was back in session.

The night before the treatments began, Holly J was sick to her stomach. She had been able to keep down a bit more food thanks to the anti-nausea pills Dr. Remarque had given her – but that was blown to pieces when her nerves were on edge. Declan had been on edge all day to the point where Holly J had sent him away – told him to find Spinner or Sav and do something – anything but fuss over her. The evening found her in the library, attempting to read one of the books her English class had already finished. Most of her teachers were extremely understanding of her situation and had pared down the work load. Mrs. Kwan had no such thoughts; English was Holly J's heaviest academic burden.

Fiona had been distant. Since Holly J had been diagnosed with cancer, her dark-haired friend had stayed mostly away – only joining in on group activities and rarely being alone in the same room with her best friend. But she searched out her friend that evening, her expression nervous as she rapped lightly on the library door.

"Hi, Fi," Holly J said, smiling and putting her book aside. She carefully picked up the glass of water that was by her side and sipped from it, waiting for Fiona to join her. Fiona closed the library doors and crossed the room to sit next to Holly J. "What's up? We haven't talked in a while."

"I'm sorry, Holly J."

"You don't need to be sorry. Things have been pretty crazy. How are you holding up?"

Fiona's eyes misted with tears and she shook her head. "You're the one who's sick – you shouldn't be worried about me."

"Fi – I love you. I always think about you. No matter what my rebellious blood cells choose to do."

"How can you joke?"

"It's a lot easier than crying," Holly J answered. "And less draining. And it's better for the complexion," she added, handing a tissue to her friend. Fiona twisted it between her fingers and tried to hold back any further tears. Holly J reached over and rubbed her shoulder gently. "It's okay to cry – I certainly did my share."

"Aren't you scared?" Fiona asked, tentatively.

"Terrified," Holly J answered. "Absolutely terrified. But then I think about everything I have. I have you – Declan – Jane – your parents – Sav and Anya – Clare – so many friends and loved ones. I'm pretty lucky."

"You're amazing," Fiona said, her sobs becoming deeper as she leaned against Holly J and slumped into her lap. "I can't lose you."

"You're not losing me," Holly J promised. "It's just a temporary detour. This is the not the end of the road. I have so much to do in this life. And I look forward to spending a lot more time with the people I love." She held Fiona for a long time and continued to whisper words of courage and promise – trying to convince herself along with her friend.

On Monday morning after the wedding, Holly J's stomach was doing somersaults, making it impossible to eat the breakfast Jane was pushing at her. Declan was desperate to go with her but eventually she and Jane were able to convince him to go to school; he had reenrolled at Degrassi to finish his senior year. When the two friends arrived at the hospital, a nurse took them directly back into an exam room. Dr. Wu joined them almost immediately, greeting them briefly before taking Holly J's vitals. "How are you feeling today?"

"Nervous," she admitted.

"I won't lie - treating cancer is never easy. But you have a great chance. We didn't talk about this before – but I've decided we're going to put in a port today to make your chemotherapy treatments easier to administer. It means you won't need to be stuck every time we need to do a treatment or take a blood sample."

Holly J had fallen a shade paler. She thought she was receiving her first treatment; she had not heard a thing about a port. Not that she'd always paid the best attention. Some of her time in Dr. Wu's office had been spent in stunned and shocked silence. "I didn't realize. Does it stay in?"

"It does," Dr. Wu answered. "We implant it under the skin and connect it to an artery. I know it doesn't sound pleasant - but I promise - it will make the chemotherapy easier. You won't feel a thing - you'll be asleep when it is implanted." Holly J nodded; she knew it wasn't really a choice. "I'll send in a nurse to prep you - as long as you come out from the anesthesia before two, you'll be able to go home by dinner." As soon as he was gone, Holly J dissolved. The tears flowed in huge, wrenching sobs. Jane wrapped her arms around her friend, whispering reassurances.

"Do you want me to call Declan? Or Laura?" Holly J shook her head.

"No - it's silly. They can't do anything here. If we call Declan out the first day we convince him to go to school, he'll never go back. It's just going to be a lot of waiting. There's nothing for you to even do now. If I'm going to be here for this - you should go-"

"Don't finish that thought," Jane ordered. "I'm not leaving." The nurse arrived a few minutes later and before she could comprehend what was happening, Holly J was drifting into a drug-induced slumber. Jane followed until they wheeled her into an operating suite and settled herself into the nearest waiting room.

Jane pulled Holly J's car into the drive just in front of Declan. Holly J was sleeping; the drugs were still in her system and she'd only woken long enough to convince the doctor she could go home. He was livid that there had been a surgery and he hadn't been informed. Jane took the brunt of the yelling until Holly J woke up long enough to scold him and tell him to leave her friend alone. Jane took it with a grain of salt; she knew Declan was worried and he felt helpless. She did, however, take a much needed break from the Coyne residence. Tuesday, the three week chemotherapy cycle began.

The chemicals were kind enough to give her one day reprieve before the side effects hit heavily. Jane barely made it into the drive when Holly J jumped out of the car and into the nearest bathroom to relinquish the contents of her stomach. She was sick for a remainder of the day despite the small bag of anti-nausea drug that the nurse had informed her they were using along with the chemo.

After the surprise of the port implanting of the day before, Declan had wanted more than anything to go with Holly J. She assured him she was fine and promised it was going to be nothing but intravenous drugs that day. No surgeries or other procedures planned. He tapped his foot nervously through his morning classes, his hand on his phone in case Jane or Holly J contacted him. It was almost lunch time when he received a text from Jane informing him that they were home - and that Holly J was fine. He was skeptical; if she was perfectly fine, she would have texted him herself.

He was home twenty minutes after the last bell rang, springing up the stairs and into his bedroom where he found his wife curled under the covers. She was awake but her eyes closed tightly against pain. Jane was sitting in an armchair in the corner, one of her textbooks propped open in her lap. Seeing Declan, she stood and left the room. Declan crawled into bed behind her, pulling his arms around her small frame. She was shaking from the pain. He continued to hold her, knowing there was nothing he could say to make things better.

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Please review - let me know if you enjoyed the chapter :-) Thanks for reading!


	10. Conversations with Boys

Thank you for all those who have reviewed - I love to know someone is out there still enjoying this story. Keep reading, enjoying, and reviewing :-)

**Chapter 10 Conversations with Boys**

After a week of chemotherapy, Holly J felt worse than she ever imagined was possible. She was lying in bed Friday evening, her eyes closed as she listened to Declan read from The Decameron. It was a requirement for her English class. Reaching a good stopping point, he placed an index card inside to mark the book and set it on the night stand. He slid down from the headboard, laying his head on his pillow so he was level with his wife. Her eyes snapped open to observe him. "I know that's not the end," Holly J chided him weakly.

"It can wait," Declan answered, his right hand snaking across and finding her back. Her rubbed gently as he pulled her closer. "I want you to talk to me. We haven't really talked about all of this. We got married - we spend a lot of time together. But we haven't really talked."

"I don't want to talk about it," Holly J answered.

"Tell me anyway - what is going on in that beautiful, brilliant mind of yours?"

"Declan, please."

"Please what?"

"I can't talk about this."

"Talk to me - let me in."

"I can't do this!" She said, rolling away from him and getting out of bed. She stood over the bed, her eyes burning as her voice grew in volume and pitch. "What do you want to hear? That I'm terrified? That I've never been more scared in my life? I don't even know if I'm going to live long enough to go to college at all - let alone to Yale." Declan sat up and kept his gaze fixed on her as she continued. "Do you want to hear about how much it hurts to move? Or how I can't eat anything without imagining what it will feel like coming back up? Or how I get sick in front of my best friend every day - it's humiliating. And it's only the beginning. In a few months, I'm going to be unrecognizable - and ugly - and gross. And I'm terrified that I'm already losing myself. That I'm going to lose you."

She was sobbing, her face buried in her hands, as Declan stood and walked over to her. He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. "Holly J Sinclair Coyne. I need you to listen to me very carefully," he said, his tone gentle but firm. He pushed a few escaped strands of red locks from her forehead and kissed her softly. "Very carefully," he repeated. "I don't care what happens to your hair - or if you lose weight or gain weight - or whatever hellish things these treatments can do. You will always be beautiful to me. I love you because of who you are. I love the way you turn everything into a challenge. I love the way you push yourself and those you love. I love how passionate and caring you are about the world."

He tipped her chin up so she had little choice but to meet his eyes. With his thumbs, he carefully wiped away the remaining tears. "I love the way you make me want to be a better person. You are a strong woman. You are going to make it through this - and it's just going to be another example of how amazing you are. And no matter what happens between today and the day you're given a clean bill of health, I'm not going anywhere - ever. I am your husband - your friend. You are my better half and I will always be here for you - no disease can change that."

Holly J allowed him to hug her and she held on closely, crying like she hadn't truly allowed herself since the wedding. Eventually, once the sobs dissipated, she allowed him to carry her back to bed. Snuggled under the covers, she laid her head against his chest and grasped his hand. "Why do you always know the right thing to say?"

"I never did until I met you," he said, dropping a kiss on her forehead. She continued to hold his hand, her fingers tracing gently around the platinum wedding band. Despite the time constrains of their wedding, he had somehow managed to find someone to make custom bands. His was engraved with an intricate series of Celtic knots that stood for love, friendship, and eternity; the mirror imagine of her ring. Her wedding band was done in a delicate lattice work that was an exact match to his engraving - if they wore the same ring size, the would have been able to be fit together into once piece. She loved the wedding bands; what they stood for, the time and consideration he had spent in having them made; and the fact that it was hers - forever.

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A few days later, Spinner arrived at the Coyne home earlier than usual. It was his day off and his plans with his guys friends had fizzled out. He arrived expecting to find Jane but instead found Holly J alone in the large house. It didn't happen often, but occasionally she felt the need to kick everyone out so she didn't need to murder them. She was in the library, snuggled on a sofa with book while a fire crackled in the stone hearth. She sat up when she saw him and smiled. "Hey, Spin."

"Hey, HJ. How goes it?"

"I'm okay," she answered; it was the closest she could give to an honest answer.

"You don't have to lie to me," Spinner offered, sitting across from her on the sofa. "I know what those treatments do to you. The pain was pretty unbearable for me."

"I'm trying not to think about it," Holly J answered with a half-smile.

"Just don't make the mistakes I did."

"I will stay away from the weed," Holly J said, a smirk appearing on her face for the first time in quite a while.

"No, smart ass," Spinner argued. "Don't push people away. You have a lot going for you here. Let them know what you need. That was my biggest problem. I tried to be okay for everyone- when I really just needed to be honest."

"Thanks for the advice," Holly J said, moving to lean against him. Spinner placed and arm around her shoulder. "And thanks for being so understanding about Jane being here all the time. I don't know where I'd be without her."

"It's all good," he said. "You're a good friend. We're both happy we can help. But the next time you try to get her in your bed, we're going to have a problem," he teased. He left soon after when Jane called and suggested they meet for dinner; they didn't often have alone time. Holly J was content to go back to her reading, but Fiona arrived just as he was leaving.

Fiona still had her apartment and that was usually where she stayed; it was closer to the school and she was more comfortable. She tried to stop in to the lake house at least once a day; it was where her brother and best friend were to be found, after all. It was still difficult for her to see Holly J not at her best. It was beyond comprehension and comfort level for the brunette. Holly J was the strong one; without that certainty, Fiona felt lost.

She arrived in the library and hugged Holly J. "Hi."

"Hey, Fi. How was your day?"

"Good," she said, shrugging. "Same as always. Declan said he has a few things to do before coming home, so he'll be late."

"I know - he called." Holly J received approximately 10 calls from Declan during the school day - between each class, during lunch, study hall - and any other time he could make it happen. With the current circumstances, Simpson had made an exception to the cell phone policy and allowed him to carry one; as long as he didn't have it turned on during class. Declan figured whatever the principal didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

Fiona disappeared for a few moments and returned with carbonated water and a snack of apples and cheese. Holly J attempted to nibble a bit; if she put on a show of enough effort, people left her alone about her meager appetite. Fiona flipped open one of the covered bookshelves to reveal a television and flipped it on, changing channels until the two girls found a movie they could agree on; Hairspray was being shown on a cable channel.

When Declan arrived home with dinner, Fiona lying on one end of the sofa sleepily watching the television. Holly J was fast asleep at the other end. Once she woke, the three of them shared the Italian food he had picked up on his way home. Fiona left soon after, citing homework and a phone call with Adam. She hugged Holly J and kissed her cheek and went to wait in the car.

"Do you want to stay down here – or do you want me to help you upstairs before I drive Fi home?" Declan asked, his hands grasping his wife's.

"I think I'll get a bath," Holly J answered. "I can make it." Declan didn't argue, but he followed her up the stairs at her measured, slow pace. Once inside the master bedroom, she went to the closet to find a pair of pajamas and other necessities. Declan flipped on the light in the master bathroom and began to fill the deep whirlpool with warm, fragrant water.

When Holly J appeared in the doorway, she rolled her eyes. She set her clothing on the counter next to her sink and placed her book within easy reach of the tub. "I told you I could do it."

"I enjoy helping," Declan answered, sweeping her into his arms and kissing her deeply.

"I definitely can't do that," Holly J said breathlessly, after pulling away.

"Just a kiss," Declan replied, placing a chaste kiss on her lips. "I shouldn't be long. Call my cell if you need anything." She smiled and nodded, moving slowly to undress and climb into the tub. He waited until she was in the water, as she knew he would. Once he was gone, she lounged comfortably in the frothy bath and attempted to wrap her mind around her newest novel for English class.

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Sorry it's an abrupt ending – there wasn't really a good place to stop for this chapter. But going on to the next part made it much too long. I hope you liked this installment – please review if you did. I love the alerts and favorites – but please review – I like to know what you think. I've already had several readers help with middle ideas. (I have the ending written, it's just some of the middle that is coming along more slowly). So, please review – your thoughts are welcome!


	11. Refreshing Threats

Thank you for being patient; sorry for the wait. I hope everyone is still enjoying. For those of you who review - thank you! You are appreciated! For those of your who don't - Please review - I can't say it enough. Many people are viewing and adding this story to their favorites, but not as many are reviewing. If you like it, what parts did you like? Anything too out of character? Anything you would like to see? I have the ending written - and the next few chapters in draft format. Review :-) And Enjoy!

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Chapter 11 Twinkling Lights; Refreshing Threats

Soft white lights twinkled from the edges of the Coyne lakeside home. Thick pine garlands wrapped their way around railings and sprays of winter flowers hung above doorways and perched on tables. Christmas reds and greens dotted the home with a mingling of sparkling silver and snowy white. From the antique keys hanging from red velvet ribbon in the entry to the smell of cookie dough in the kitchen, the house was decked out for the holidays. Holly J seethed nonetheless as she stabbed red and white roses into a waiting vase. Declan had sent them after he'd left for school that morning and they'd arrived before she and Jane were set to leave for the hospital. They'd had an argument the night before, mostly about how she needed to rest and do less - when all she wanted to do was break free of her own body; it was betraying her. Since she couldn't scream at her illness, she screamed at Declan. He took it rather well; otherwise there would have been no roses.

"Is there a reason you're maiming the roses?" Jane asked, her spoon frozen above her cereal bowl as she appeared in the doorway. Holly J ignored her and continued her abrupt arranging. "Is there a particular problem - or should I just guess?"

"I'm fine," Holly J said, pausing to close her eyes and forcing herself to move on; she was too tired to seethe. She reopened her blue orbs and faced Jane. "What are you doing today?"

"No real plans," Jane answered. "I might go with Spin and Sav to see some band tonight - its local. Otherwise, I'm trying to get ahead with some of the reading for next semester. Who knew Stanford was hard?" They both knew she was lying; she loved University; it was the perfect place for her. "What about you?"

"Five page paper on Aeschylus's plays. Bio lab report for a lab I didn't do - and hopefully a week's worth of calculus - I've fallen behind again."

"I can help you this afternoon - if you want to get started before Clare gets here." Holly J shook her head.

"I need your help with something else. It's almost Christmas and I haven't done any shopping. I don't have anything for anyone - and I'm worried it's not going to get done." Normally, Holly J adored the holiday season. This year, it had snuck in amongst treatments and doctors' appointments.

Jane tried to talk her into online shopping but that ideas was immediately shot down. Eventually, she was obliged to take Holly J shopping after treatments. Jane wasn't sure how well the plan would work, considering that time was normally taken up by vomiting and sleeping. Holly J was not to be deterred.

After her chemotherapy treatment, Holly J normally bolted for the car in hopes of making it home before the vomiting began. That day, she lay back in the overstuffed chair and held the basin in front of her. "You can't will yourself to puke faster," Jane warned her, understanding her friend's intentions and motivations. "Let's just go home - we'll go back out after you feel better."

"That would be fantastic - if I ever felt better," Holly J snapped. She realized her tone and began to apologize, but it was too late; the nausea had hit.

"Don't worry about it," Jane responded, knowing what the other girl had been about to say. "You're allowed to be upset. She twisted Holly J's red hair up and back, securing it with a clip from her purse. She folded a paper towel and dampened it, placing the cold compress on the back of Holly J's neck. Eventually, after she stopped, Jane handed her tissues and a cup of water to rinse her mouth.

Tears streamed down Holly J's cheeks. She hated more than anything looking weak. And she did look weak. Jane knew the reason she was crying; she heard about it at least once a week. "Stop crying," she said, handing her friend more tissues. "Before you know it, you're going to be back to normal. This is temporary." Jane put an arm around Holly J, hugging her close. Holly J nodded and eventually the tears subsided.

Thirty minutes later, they were in the car headed to the nearest shopping outlet. Other than the need to stop and rest after just about every store, they had a good time. She enjoyed her new credit cards; Holly J Coyne had a good deal more money than Holly J Sinclair. Rarely had she used that to her advantage; but Christmas qualified as a splurge-worthy occasion in her book. They arrived home with just enough time for all the presents to be stowed in Jane's room and Holly J to change and crawl into bed before Declan arrived home from school. He would have never approved of their excursion; neither woman intended to make him any the wiser. Twice more Jane was forced to be Holly J's partner in crime before her shopping list was finished. If Declan noticed his wife's more-than-usual exhaustion, it was never mentioned.

The week before Christmas found the Coyne home filled to capacity. Fiona, Declan, and both their parents were in attendance. Spinner had taken a few days off from work and was spending most of his time with Jane. School having been let out on vacation, so Anya and Sav were spending time with Holly J and Clare, Eli, and Adam were spending time with Fiona.

A few days before the actual holiday, Declan was walking through the upstairs hallway, intent on finding his mother. He normally wouldn't have stopped at listened at Jane's door, but it was open partially; and he heard key words that made him curious; transfer – postpone – withdrawal.

"You can't do this," Declan said, entering the room without knocking. "Holly J won't stand for it - neither will I."

"It's a damn good thing you don't make my decisions for me," Jane answered, not appreciating his tone. She was sitting at the desk in her room, her laptop open to a Stanford website. Declan had heard the ending of her call; he guessed she had been speaking to her advisor; possibly the registrar. She was planning to take a semester off from Stanford; to defer her scholarship. "It's my life, Declan - I can do what I want."

Declan closed the bedroom door. "You can't stay here for her - she'll hate it. And she'll feel guilty - and she doesn't have time or energy for that."

"You can't do this on your own," Jane argued. "She won't let you - her mother is no help. Fiona is afraid to even be in a room alone with her. Your mother has enough on her plate. What else do you suggest?"

"We'll hire a nurse if we have to."

Jane scoffed and shook her head. "You think she's going to like that any better?"

"I don't have all the answers - but I won't let you do this," Declan yelled, his frustration clear.

The door flew open and Spinner and Holly J stood on the other side. "Please tell me there's a good reason you two are behind a closed door? And a damn good reason you're yelling at my girlfriend," Spinner said, his eyes flaming at Declan.

"Spin," Jane said calmly. "It's fine. We were just having a disagreement."

"I don't care," Spinner answered. "He doesn't get to yell at you. And I thought we agreed you two weren't going to be alone together."

"Spin, I really don't think you need to worry. I'm sure they were arguing about me," Holly J said weakly, moving past him to reach Jane's bed. She crawled onto the King sized mattress and lay on her side, giving her a decent vantage point for the argument that she figured would continue.

"Are you ever going to get over this?" Jane asked, her anger clearly boiling. "I made a mistake - over a year ago! I can't apologize anymore, Spinner. I'm not attracted to Declan - or anyone else. For some unknown reason, I love you." She shook her head and ran from the room.

"Go after her," Holly J ordered; she was not going to allow her illness to destroy a relationship; it had done enough damage already. Spinner disappeared; knowing better than to ignore the sick redhead. Declan swooped his wife off Jane's bed and carried her into their room, worried that she seemed lighter than she had the day before. He knew he needed to speak with Jane; but it would have to wait. Holly J had enough to worry about.

* * *

On Christmas morning, Holly J woke early and carefully removed herself from Declan's grip before padding barefoot to the bathroom. After brushing her teeth, she reached for her hairbrush and the poinsettia-bedazzled-hair-band she planned to wear that day. The brush was two strokes through when she felt something different. She reached to the back of her head and pulled loose a clump of her beautiful auburn locks. Declan found her a few minutes later, crying as she desperately clung to the clump of hair. He gathered her into his arms and whispered, "I'm so sorry." It was the best he could do under the circumstances.

It wasn't noticeable, once her hair was brushed and curled. It didn't much matter; she knew it was starting. She trembled as she stepped into a black dress with a red ribbon belt and a matching red sweater. Declan tried to talk to her but she remained numb. Although her brain told her it was vanity, her heart knew differently; it was the first tangible evidence of death and sickness. Her beautiful, thick mane of red hair was going to be lost.

It took nearly an hour, but they eventually dressed and joined their gathered friends and family in the library where the largest tree had been set up. Jane and Spinner were sitting on a love seat closest to it, boxed in on most sides by the large amount of presents that had found their way under and beside the eight foot blue spruce. Fiona lounged against Mr. Coyne, who was on one of the sofas flipping through the newspaper. Holly J and Declan sat on the floor in front of them, their backs against the sofa. Just then, Laura Coyne stepped into the room with a tray of coffee cups and two pots.

"Wonderful, everyone is here!" She exclaimed, setting aside the tray as soon as she noticed Holly J and Declan. "We can start opening presents. The coffee can wait." She fluttered around the tree, pulling out boxes and handing them around until everyone in the room had a package.

"Mrs. Coyne," Jane argued, "you didn't need to do this," she said, looking down at the package.

"I know," Laura said. "That makes it more fun. And you and Gavin have become part of the family. It's only right." Declan, meanwhile, had wandered to a closet and pulled from it several shopping bags brimming with gifts. He placed them close to where he was sitting and sat back down next to Holly J before handing the top gift to his mother. After 18 years with their mother, he and Fiona had picked up a few habits; they were quality Christmas shoppers.

"Here's one for you, mom. No complaining."

"You didn't need to do that - but thank you," Laura said, smiling as she took it. "Okay - youngest first. It's still you, Fifi." Fiona shook her head at the vast unfairness of being younger than Declan by a mere two minutes and carefully removed the red and silver wrapping and red silk bow from the perfectly wrapped package. Inside was a beautiful platinum watch encrusted with diamonds and tied with a stylishly classic satin bow. Fiona squealed in pleasure, hugging her father and jumping up to do the same for her mother. Declan was next to open his box and be pleasantly surprised with a new ipod that had a dock for his car. Holly J opened her package. It was oddly shaped, about a foot square and three or four inches thick. It was an album. Upon opening it, she found her wedding - the proposal, the process, the events itself - had all been documented and beautifully scrapbooked. The neat script that filled the book belonged to Laura; and immediately Holly J knew the books had been made by the matriarch herself.

She was in awe. No one had ever given her anything so personal; so valuable and thoughtful. Even most of Declan's gifts were more about the monetary value than the sentimental one. "If you don't like it, it can be redone," Laura said. "I thought the white and silvery gray went better with your wedding colors than white and black - but we can do whatever you like. It's just a draft-"

"It's perfect," Holly J stammered. Her eyes filled with tears and she pushed the book to Declan, throwing her arms around Laura and hiding her tearful eyes. It took them a good hour to open their presents. After, they sat together in the dining room and enjoyed the beautiful brunch that Laura had prepared. Holly J knew that she had most of her events catered; but she was a fantastic cook in her own right. Declan was annoyingly consistent in his attempt to fill her plate. Every time he put something on his own piece of Waterford china, he placed some on Holly J's. "Next time you put food on my plate, this fork goes through your hand," she said in a cheerfully threatening voice, leaning close to whisper in his ear. Declan bit back a chuckle and nodded. He was happy she was threatening him; her recent exhaustion had taken away a bit of her edge; it was a refreshing moment when it came out.


	12. Brave Princesses

I can't apologize enough for not updating sooner – life simply got in the way and then I put this on the back burner while I was working on another story. I hope some of you are still reading and still interested. If you are, please leave a review and let me know how you like the newest installment. After this, there will be no more than two additional chapters and an epilogue. I have the beginnings of a sequel set ten years in the future… we'll see how that comes out.

On a side note, I wrote this before the beginning of Season 10, so it has nothing to do with Holly J's actual illness on the show and – in this story – she is a biological daughter of the Sinclair family. Thanks! I hope you enjoy:

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Chapter 12 - Brave Princesses

Two weeks after the New Year, Holly J's first round of chemo was finished. She had lost chunks of her hair, fifteen pounds, and a good deal of hope. She was tired and still in pain. Even those closest to her - Jane and Declan - were finding her difficult to navigate. It was Jane's last week home on break when she, Declan, and Laura Coyne joined Holly J in the doctor's office to hear if the chemo had done its job.

Dr. Remarque had joined them, on Declan's request - to meet with Dr. Wu. When he entered the office, none of them appreciated his expression. He sat down behind his desk, facing Holly J and Declan. "I wish I had better news. It doesn't seem the cancer cells are responding to the treatments. What I would like to do - at this point - is to hit the cancer with higher doses of different drugs in rapid succession. It would require a bone marrow transplant because of the sheer mass of good cells that would be destroyed."

"When would you need to do this?" Laura Coyne was the first and only person to speak. Everyone else was frozen in silence and immobility.

"I'd like to get started as soon as we have a match. We'll place Holly J on the transplant list - but it would be best if we have family members to test - they are usually better matches. Do you have any siblings?"

"She won't come," Holly J answered hollowly. Heather hadn't spoken to her since she'd becoming engaged. Before that, their relationship hadn't exactly been of the best-friend variety. Holly J had stayed out of Heather's way and learned from her lessons of brutality and cruelty.

"We'll talk to her," Declan answered.

Dr. Remarque intervened. "We can get her on the transplant list right away. In case a family match can't be made. And anyone can be tested - you never know where you'll find a match." Before leaving the hospital that day, Declan, Laura, and Jane all had their blood drawn to see if they might be a match. Only Declan was a blood type match but it would take further testing to see if his marrow would work for Holly J.

When they arrived home, Holly J disappeared into her bedroom before anyone could speak with her. It was for the best; no one knew what to say. Declan stopped in the kitchen to pull together a make-shift lunch before wandering up the stairs to find his wife. She was sitting on the edge of their bed, pulling a pair of brown suede boots over a pair of thick wool socks. Since arriving home, she had changed out of her gray dress and into a pair of jeans and a thick sweater.

"What's up?" Declan asked, setting aside the plate he had brought with him.

"I'm going on a walk," Holly J answered, not looking up as she moved on to the other boot.

"I'll go with you," Declan answered, moving toward the walk-in closet.

"No," she responded.

"Jane, then. I'll go ask her-"

"I'm going by myself," Holly J answered firmly. "I'll take my phone with me. I'll be fine. I need time by myself."

"I don't think this is a good time for you to be going off on your own."

"It doesn't matter what you think. I can make my own decisions. And I'm going on a walk by myself. I need space, Declan. I know you want to help - but you can't always."

"Not if you don't let me."

"I can't argue with you right now. Please, just let me go." He heard the pleading in her voice; he couldn't ignore it. As much as he wanted to keep her safe, he knew she was being suffocated; the disease was doing it, mostly. He certainly didn't want to be the one to help it along. While she left on her walk, he wandered to the library and picked up a book he should have completed weeks before for an English class. The words blurred and his brain swam with worries, making it impossible to concentrate.

She returned shortly before dinner, her cheeks pink from the cold air; it certainly looked to have revitalized her. Declan left her to her own devices, wanting to help but respecting her words that she needed time alone. The dinner table was full that evening. Eli had driven Clare to tutor – which hadn't happened – and they'd both been invited and accepted to stay for dinner prepared by Laura. Mr. Coyne had made it into town to visit and Fiona had invited Adam over. With Jane sitting to Holly J's left, it was a room of nine. The conversation was tense; everyone had heard the news that she needed the bone marrow transplant.

Holly J tried to call her sister that first night but Heather did not answer or return her call. Declan and Laura Coyne had both followed with their own pleas – to both Heather and Nancy. A week and a half later, after Clare and Anya had organized a school-wide bone marrow testing drive, there was still no match for Holly J. The waiting was making them all go stir crazy. Jane was holing herself in her room with thick textbooks and studying late into the night, giving her an air of exhaustion that rivaled her friend's. Her professors has allowed her to begin the semester at a distance as long as she viewed the lectures online, did extra research assignments, and traveled to campus for the midterm and final exams. Despite Declan insisting she didn't need to say, they had all breathed a sigh of relief when it was clear that Jane was settled in for the winter. After being yelled at one too many times for looking at her in a pitying way, Spinner had gone out of his way to begin avoiding his old friend Holly J. He would sneak in and out of Jane's bedroom and that was the extent of his time at the Coyne abode. Declan received most of the brunt. When Holly J was awake she was either crying or yelling at him; he preferred the latter.

After three straight days of her hysterics, he was at a complete loss. Sitting in the living room, staring at a far wall, he was surprised when the front door opened. He broke out of his stupor and stood. "Hey, Prop Master Clare," Declan said upon seeing her. Because there wasn't always someone to let her in, she had her own key. "Didn't you get my message? We're going to take a break. Holly J's not feeling up to it this week." In fact, Holly J hadn't been feeling up to anything that week. She'd left her bed only for the necessities and occasionally to find things to throw at her husband.

"I got it," Clare answered cheerfully. "I just wanted to stop in and say hi – if that's okay."

"She's not really up to it," Declan repeated. It was then that Clare saw the red in his eyes – the evidence of tears.

"I'd like to try," she said firmly. Declan knew from the rumors at school and Laura's polite questions that Clare had a lot on her own plate – but if anyone could neutralize Holly J's anger, he wouldn't be surprised if it was the plucky tenth grader. He nodded and she headed up the stairs, not stopping to knock on the door. Ascending the stairs, she passed by Jane's closed door and walked into the master bedroom, not stopping to knock. Her intuition and common sense told her that if she waited for an invitation, it wouldn't come.

Holly J was in bed, curled on her side, facing the window. Her hair was braided into two loose, wispy plaits. It was only at the ends that thinning could be seen clearly. Even her doctors had been surprised at home much hair she'd retained through her first round of treatment. She was curled around a pillow, her eyes shut tightly against the day but not in the comfort of sleep.

"Please go away," she said hoarsely.

"No," Clare said simply.

"We do not pay you to annoy me," Holly J said angrily. "We pay you to help me do homework. And since I'm clearly not doing homework today, you need to leave."

"Lucky for you," Clare said brightly, "I'm not on company time right now."

"Edwards—" Holly J hissed. It might have scared just about anyone else away – save maybe Anya or Declan. But Clare still remembered when Holly J had ruled the school with angry quips and tight ponytails. She hadn't been afraid then; it was silly to be afraid now. It was – and always had been – a very clear mechanism for defense and projection. Clare had seen enough now of the kind and caring Holly J to know that was the true one – the one worth knowing.

"I'm not leaving," Clare said simply. "So you can stop being mean to me. Or not. Your choice – you're the one wasting energy. I know you're scared – and you have every right to be. But being angry and mean isn't going to help anything."

"Well then," Holly J said haughtily, "Oh wise one of grade ten, what will help things?"

"Remember what you have to be thankful for," Clare responded softly. She knew the other girl wasn't expecting an answer and so the words hit ever harder.

"Go away," Holly J said hollowly, her face white.

"Please—"

"Go away!" Holly J's scream was so hoarse and pained that Clare did leave; if only because she thought Holly J's grief was going to hurt more than her current frigidness. Clare crept from the room and found Jane waiting in the hallway, her expression curious.

"I have an idea," Clare told Jane softly, not sure if the older girl was going to be angry with her or not. Jane measured her options – rushing to her sobbing friend in the room next door and being audience at a continually worsening pity party – or listening to the idea of a young woman who was (after all) a genius. She chose Clare, pulling the young girl into her room and closing the door just as Declan came racing up the hall. He'd clearly heard his wife's last outburst.

"You might want to avoid Declan for the rest of the night," Jane suggested, sitting in her desk chair. She paused and sucked in air through her teeth. "Anyone making Holly J cry is on his shit list right now." Clare looked confused so Jane continued. "Right now, that includes the entire household – which is why so many doors and closed and it's so quiet. While in fact, Laura and Fiona are here – somewhere."

Invited by the older girl, Clare sat on the edge of the bed and began telling Jane her thoughts. An hour or so later, Jane escorted her to the door and watched her walk to Eli's waiting car. Declan looked angry when Jane reentered and she shook her head at him, smiling helplessly.

"She was trying to help."

"She made Holly J cry."

"The temperature outside today made Holly J cry," Jane responded sarcastically, turning on her heal and heading into the kitchen. She ignored Declan, prepared herself a snack, and went back to her room.

The next day, Holly J was due at the hospital for more blood tests. "Where are we going?" Holly J asked, annoyed that Jane was dragging her toward an unfamiliar direction. Her routine had become very strict; she did only what was mandatory and then straight back to her bed so she could wallow. Deviation was not in her plan. Jane, however, had other expectations. Holly J tried to fight but she unfortunately needed Jane's support – and driving capability – to get home. Jane continued to pull her down the hall, through various doorways, until they came to a waiting room where Clare was sitting, reading a book.

"Hey," she said, smiling and looking up as they entered. "I'm glad you made it. There's someone I want you to meet." Holly J rolled her eyes.

"I'm not exactly in the mood."

"I don't exactly care," Clare answered with an amused smile on her lips. Jane smirked and took Holly J's hand, pulling her after the younger girl.

Five hours a week during the school year and more during the summer, Clare volunteered in the pediatric oncology ward at the hospital. She had convinced Jane to bring Holly J to meet her very favorite patient.

Katie was five years old and, despite the tubes, bald-head under a bright pink scarf, and ghostly pallor, was extremely animated. She was excited to meet Jane and Holly J; even more so when she discovered that the brunette had played football. Happily, she showed the girls her favorite toys. After she tired, she handed Holly J a book and crawled into her lap. She seemed completely unaware that the redhead didn't want anything to do with her.

Not knowing how to refuse, Holly J opened the book and began to read. Her voice grew more confident as the pages of the fairy tale spun their way around her heart. Finishing, she placed the book aside and looked at Katie.

"Is that your favorite?"

Katie nodded. "I'm gonna be a princess someday," Katie answered. "After the cancer is all gone and I go home with mommy and daddy."

"I bet you are," Holly J answered softly. "And you'll be the prettiest princess there is." Katie giggled; she liked that answer. A nurse appeared with a wheelchair and Katie clambered off of Holly J's lap to hug Clare.

"It's time to go take more pictures, Katie," the nurse said cheerfully.

"She says pictures," Katie said to Clare in a mock-whisper. "But I heard her tell mommy I've gots to have an ivy." Clare smiled – she knew what the little girl meant.

"Be brave. Princesses are brave."

"I know," Katie said with a smile, "I'm always brave." Katie was gone within a minute, her mom close behind after waving a quick goodbye to Clare. Blue eyes and brown fell to Holly J and she quickly looked away from both friends, her eyes visibly tearing.

"We're not talking right now," she said softly, her voice little more than a gasp between sobs.

"Alright," Jane answered. Her arms wrapped around her friend's frail frame and she held her carefully, rubbing her back in gentle circles. "It's alright," she kept repeating, wishing it were a promise instead of a prayer.

The next morning, Holly J was awake and dressed when Declan appeared with breakfast. What was left of her hair was pulled back in a headband while her cheeks and eyes displayed a hint of makeup. He set the tray in front of her and kissed her cheek, cheerfully greeting her and not commenting on her obvious preparations for the day. It had been more than a week since she'd gotten ready for the day without being forced to do so. Jane and Clare had not told him what they'd done day before, so he was even more shocked than he should have been. He hid it well.

"I thought maybe we could take a walk after breakfast," she said, looking at him peripherally.

"Sounds nice," he answered, popping a strawberry into his mouth.

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I hope you enjoyed – please share your thoughts! I'm sorry again for the wait. I will be working on the next chapter this weekend and should have it up in the next few days (next weekend at the latest). Coming up in Chapter 13 – Fiona – who has been less than helpful throughout this story – proves her mettle.


	13. Waiting on Frayed Nerves

Sorry this chapter took so long. I had parts of it done when I posted Chapter 12 - and I thought it would come along quickly - but I made some decisions in this chapter that struck me as odd. I tried to make them not-odd, but it didn't work out. So, I've included a character or two who might surprise you, but I think it works. I hope those of you who are still reading are enjoying - please leave a review to let me know you're still interested. And thanks for those who have done so all along, you help keep me inspired :-)

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Chapter 13 – Waiting on Frayed Nerves

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Once Holly J moved past her period of constant anger, the entire household lightened considerably. But there was still an ominous cloud; they knew that each day passing without a bone-marrow donor was one day closer to Holly J losing her fight to cancer. It was a random Thursday afternoon when Fiona walked into the library to find her sister-in-law alone, struggling with some sort of needlework.

"This is somehow supposed to bring me a sense of peace and accomplishment," Holly J said dryly. "It's not working." She tossed the project aside. Fiona looked toward the door; she wouldn't have entered if she'd known Holly J was in there by herself.

"I promise I won't bite," Holly J said to her, patting the adjoining sofa. Fiona sat without a word and looked around the room uncomfortably. The redhead reached over and tapped her on the hand, gaining her gaze. "Fi, I'm sorry I haven't been myself—"

"You don't have to apologize," Fiona said, tears brimming to her eyes. "I'm sorry – you have so much to deal with and I can't do anything to help and I just can't stop being afraid." She let loose with sobs that had been building in her chest for months. There were rules; it was not okay to lose your emotions in front of Holly J. She was in clear violation of that rule and her brother was likely to be angry.

But her best friend wasn't as fragile as everyone feared. Emotionally, she was probably more stable than Fiona could ever hope to be. She reached out and pulled Fiona closer, hugging her and trying to offer soothing, reassuring words.

"It's okay to be afraid," Holly J promised her. "It's a really scary, really shitty situation." Her words were harsh, but she couldn't see it in any softer terms. "And expecting to be brave and unemotional about it all the time is just silly. You don't have to pretend for me."

"I'm sorry I don't help," Fiona said between sobs.

"Fi, you're one of my very best friends. Just being here is helpful. You're fine, just the way you are. There's no right way to deal with this craziness." Fiona tried to stop crying, she wanted to be the strong one, but she didn't know how. Half an hour later, the tears finally stopped when she fell asleep in Holly J's lap.

Declan found them just before dinner and his expression was one of annoyance. Holly J waved him off, telling him she was fine and to leave Fiona be. Later that night, when his wife was sleeping and the rest of the house had fallen into a state of quiet, he went to his sister's room. She still had her apartment, but since the new year she had spent most of her time at the lake house, so she'd been given a room on the other side of Jane, complete with a beautiful view of the lake and a walk-in-closet that most girls would relish. Fiona thought it was a bit small.

She was sitting at the desk, trying to concentrate on homework, when Declan entered without knocking. She looked up, startled, and her face fell at his angry expression. "Fiona, you can't lose it in front of Holly J. How do you think that makes her feel? She's working hard enough as it is to stay strong through this – she doesn't need to add your drama to the mix. Stop making everything about yourself." He didn't give her a chance to answer, a chance to do much of anything. He stormed back out of the room, the click of the door igniting the sobs still lingering in her chest. Jane stepped out into the hall just as Declan was passing her door.

"Declan," she said, her voice stern.

He turned, his expression hurried and harried. "You're too harsh with her," Jane told him. "She's doing her best. She's not as strong as you are."

"Mind your own business, Jane." Declan was gone before Jane was able to flip him off, but she was certain he knew it was happening. She rolled her eyes and listened at Fiona's door, trying to decide if she should say something. Instead, she went back to her room and texted Clare, asking her to pass on a message to Adam – that he should call Fiona and check on her. Feeling she had helped to smooth over some of the wrongs she'd heard that night, it was with a lighter heart that she gathered her coat and purse and left to spend the night with Spinner. She needed a break from the stifling pressure of Casa Coyne.

Adam did call Fiona that night. They talked for a long time until he convinced her that Holly J was fine, Declan was being overprotective and slightly idiotic, and she had done nothing wrong. After the time spent talking to her friend, Fiona was able to sleep. The next day, she skipped school and instead went to the insurance offices where Nancy Sinclair worked.

The woman saw her coming and shook her head, walking into a hallway to meet her before Fiona could enter her office. "You shouldn't be here," Nancy told her.

"Your daughter needs your help," Fiona informed her. "She's going to die unless she gets a bone-marrow transplant. Can you please do something? Anything? Talk to her sister – ask her to at least get tested."

"I've asked Heather and she's made her choice," Nancy told Fiona firmly. "It's not my place to pressure her. And for your information, I have tried. I was tested, so was Clark. We weren't matches."

"But her sister might be," Fiona said.

"That is her business, not mine," Nancy told her. "Now, you need to leave." Fiona didn't argue. She left the building and called a taxi, sitting on a nearby bench to wait. Her phone rang with an unfamiliar number.

Heather Sinclair worked hard. Despite her wealthy upbringing, she was not a slacker. She had a drive that almost rivaled her sister's. Unfortunately, she didn't have the heart to match. Despite her work ethic, it wasn't odd to receive a visitor at work. She was, after all, a lawyer. She was not, however, expecting the beautiful brunette who appeared in her doorway. "May I help you?" She asked, noticing the girl who was standing in the doorway. Her expensive clothing and clearly extensive grooming kept Heather momentarily interested - she had money.

"I'm Fiona Coyne," she said quickly, moving to enter and close the door. "We need to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you - or anyone in your family," Heather answered, looking back to her computer at the brief she was writing. Fiona proceeded, ignoring the rebuff.

"I don't want Holly J to die. You could help. You need to help."

"My sister has never needed anything from me - there's no reason to start a new precedent now. She'll be fine."

"She's dying!" Fiona responded, her voice loud and angry. "Have you even spoken to her? She can barely hold the phone or dress herself. She is exhausted and can't do anything. She's barely the same person. This cancer is leeching the life out of her - and her own family is doing nothing to help. I just don't understand that. If Declan were sick, I would do whatever I could to help him."

"Oh, I've heard the things you'll do for Declan," Heather said in a deviously sly voice. "You are quiet generous with twin brother, aren't you?" Now she was interested again; she liked having toys to play with.

Fiona shook her head, her cheeks reddening. "You don't even know us. You've never tried. We're more than some stupid newspaper article on the lifestyles page. Declan loves your sister more than anything he has ever cared about in his life," Fiona said sincerely. "It will destroy him if she dies."

Heather smirked and shook her head, her brow sculpting into an expression that sank Fiona's heart; it almost reminded her of an expression Holly J made when she was being sarcastic. "You really think that I'm going to lift a finger to help your brother? You're moving further and further away from things I actually might care about."

"Oh, don't be modest, Heather," a perky voice said from the doorway. "We know you don't care about anything. So cut the crap and get to the point. What is this going to take?" Paige Michaelchuck had waited in the hall for as long as she was planning to ever do so. In her life. She'd allowed Fiona to try the kind, caring, sister routine. But she knew very well that sympathy and caring were going nowhere with her good old arch-rival Heather. Fiona stepped further inside, giving Paige room to enter and close the door against the general public.

Paige stalked into the room in her beautifully tailored dress in hues of teal and peacock. Her shoes were expensive; her handbag obscenely so. Fiona knew she was decked in very expensive jewelery as well. It made a statement. She made a statement as she stood before Heather Sinclair, her sunglasses thrown up into her perfectly curled blond hair and her blue eyes glaring icy daggers.

"Why in the hell would you care about my sister and her sad, sad sickness?" Heather asked, her mocking tone attempting to hide her surprise.

"I don't really care so much about your sister. Mostly, because she's your sister. Secondly, she took over as Queen Bee when I left Degrassi. So, there is little need for us ever to be in the same room."

"I agree," Fiona added quietly. Paige eyed her and smiled widely.

"But," Paige said with a large sweep of her hand, "I received an interesting phone call this morning from Kenya. And who doesn't take an international call? Well, it was Darcy. And since little Edwards is all teary-eyed about Holly J's predicament, big sis is trying to help from the African continent. She felt I was the only one left on this side of the Atlantic bitchy enough to face you down." Paige paused and gave Fiona a once over. "Of course, she hasn't met Madame Twincest over here. She probably could have pulled this off on her own - eventually." Fiona glared and Paige ignored. Heather smirked.

"Since when do you do Darcy's bidding?"

"Again," Paige said, slowly, as though she was tired of tedious explanations, "I don't care about Darcy. But, I was in town. And my girlfriend likes it when I try to make amends for my "difficult" personality," Paige toned, complete with air quotes. "And unlike you - hun - I don't get my kicks letting someone die." Her voice was grim by the end of the statement and Fiona was left wondering if she took breaths in between her long, complicated sentences.

Heather barely blinked but Fiona could see she was shaken up; she'd never expected to again see the blond who was currently taking up space directly in front of her desk. Paige leaned over the desk and looked Heather directly in the eye.

"You get your ass to that hospital and take the blood test and give your sister whatever she needs. Or so help me - I will slam the world with every detail I ever collected of your sordid, sorry existence at Degrassi." Paige paused and looked curiously up into the sky outside Heather's window. "I wonder, what types of jobs are out there for disbarred lawyers?" She moved back from the desk and shrugged her shoulders, the tip of her sunglasses coming to rest at her breast bone. "I guess, if all else fails, you do have some - sluttier - skills to fall back on. Right, hun?"

Heather scowled and leaped toward her cabinet to pull out her purse. She was out of the office and down the hall before Paige's smile could fully grow into a grin. Fiona was completely confused and looked toward the blond for clarification.

"How do you know she's going?"

"Oh, she's going," Paige answered, "don't you worry, hun." Fiona walked out of the building with Paige and thanked her again for coming, to which Paige shrugged and threw up her hands. "I'd say I was glad to help - but it wasn't really my choice. Not that I wouldn't have - but, this you owe to someone else," she said, jerking her head toward a pretty redhead waiting patiently in the passenger seat of a black convertible. Her feet were curled under her as she focused on the iPad she held in her hands.

She smiled brightly when she looked up and her eyes landed on Paige; Fiona immediately saw the connection between the two. Paige walked toward the car, planning to leave Fiona behind but the brunette followed her and held out her hand to the redhead.

"I hear I have you to thank for this."

"Not a problem," she said with a mirthful laugh. "Paige loves to put on a good show. I just wish I could have seen it. And I hope it helps."

"I'll do an encore for you at home," Paige replied, settling into the passenger side. Her eyes flicked to Fiona. "Goodbye, Miss Coyne. I hope this works out for you and yours." Fiona smiled in thanks and left the duo.

By the time she returned home, the house was alive with activity. Heather had called Holly J and told her she'd gone for the test - and that the initial results indicated a match. The final results would be finished by morning and if it was a watch, the procedure would begin before lunch.

Holly J was checked into the hospital the next morning and they began the regiments of new drugs. She was in a special room where they took extra care with germs. Once she finished the chemo, her immune system would be completely compromised. Any germs would be life-threatening. Visitors were limited, one at a time, for an hour twice a day.

Declan was the only person who visited, but he was far from the only person at the hospital. The oncology waiting room was filled on a rotating basis with loved ones, waiting to hear what would happen.

* * *

Including Paige was a gamble - but I didn't want Heather to have a change of heart - and this way, she's not really choosing to help her sister, she's just succumbing to blackmail. Let me know if you thought it worked. And - any ideas on Paige's significant other? If you've been watching Degrassi since the days of Paige, you may know who I've suggested is in that role :-)


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